Letter of Motivation- Please correct it

Question

This is a letter of motivation to apply at a university of applied sciences. Can somebody read it and correct it? I don't know if the content and language is ok. Thanks in advice!

Dear Sirs and Madams,

I hereby wish to state my interest for a study place in your Medical and Pharmaceutical Biotechnology course.

I have chosen to study Biotechnology because I want to profit by the facility of working in an international, innovative and modern business after completing my degree. Furthermore I think that Biotechnology lives up to my expectations of an interesting study, where I have the possibility to live out my interest in the functionality of biological and medical processes.

I am eager for knowledge and I am looking forward to learn about newly developed technologies for the investigation of important and innovative pharmaceuticals. My main interest is aimed at the production and research of pharmaceuticals, because I can well imagine working with a mainly focus on research after completing my studies.

I decided against my first choice of studying Medicine because of the worst future prospects. Therefore I am glad that you offer the possibility to get a well-founded and promising education, in which I hope to profit in career terms as well as in personal aspect from the practical education and the advantages of studying at an international university of applied sciences.
Yours sincerely

Rajnbr · Accepted Answer

Dear Sirs and Madams, (use Dear Sir / Madam)

I hereby wish to express my willingness to enrol in the Medical and Pharmaceutical Biotechnology course conducted by your esteemed institution.

I have chosen to study Biotechnology because I want to benefit by working in an international, innovative and modern business after completing my academics. I have keen interest in Biotechnology, where I can develop my knowledge about various aspects of biological and medical processes.

I look forward to hear from you and learn about newly developed technologies for the investigation of important and innovative pharmaceuticals. My main interest is in production and research of pharmaceuticals, which would enable me to venture into research after completing my studies.

I am aware of the vast possibilities an academic qualification in Biomedics could offer for an above-average student. Moreover, studying at an institute of international repute would enable me to enhance my academic record before i step out into today's ever-increasing competitive job market.

Thank you and with best regards
Yours sincerely

[ please have a look and post replies if you find some serious mistakes ]

Nona the brit · Answer

very short for a motivation letter - or is this just a cover letter with your application. Try reading our 'Motivation Letters' advice sticky at the top of this thread.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hereby wish to state my interest in a place on your Medical and Pharmaceutical Biotechnology course.

I have chosen to study Biotechnology because I want to work in an international, innovative and modern business after completing my degree. I have a particular interest in the functionality of biological and medical processes, and this course would give me the opportunity to study these in depth.

I am eager for knowledge and I am looking forward to learning about newly developed technologies for the investigation of important and innovative pharmaceuticals. My main interest is in the research and production and of new pharmaceuticals, and I imagine working with a focus on research after completing my studies.

I am aware of the vast possibilities an academic qualification in Biomedics could offer for an above-average student. Moreover, studying at an institute of international repute would enable me to enhance my academic record before I step out into today's ever-increasing competitive job market.

Yours sincerely

Letter of Motivation- Please correct it

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