Letter of motivation for university

Hi.. Can anyone please proofread my univesity application letter? Do you think it is too long, and too much of a story. Is the letter strong enough? And my grammar and punctuation? And do you think I should include the photos of my little experiments in the application package. They are highly amateur . Thank you in advance .

Dear Sir/Madam

I write this letter in the hope of securing a place in the molecular ecosystem science program at the university of ----------.

I am a mature student from _____ who is eager to take a major turn in life, and pursue an academic study I have long aspired. After my high school graduation, I enrolled into the university of pharmacy in ____. During my degree study, I became more captivated by the charm of natural science than my regular pharmacological studies. I devoted most of my times on extracurricular studies, and unravelled the theoretical mysteries in my self-proclaimed makeshift but scientific laboratory, in other words, the back yard kitchen. I studied different journals on plant hybridization, and the results of which filled the family garden with colourful surprises. I was intrigued by the unexpected colour combinations, as well as, the subtle variation in the scents of flowering plants. The latter compelled me to experiment on essential oil extraction of various natural products using a home distillation kit I assembled. Subsequently, I proceeded to perform different esterification reactions to create synthetic fragrances which allowed me to compare the distinct nature between natural and synthetic compounds. All of these scientific endeavours had resulted me to be chosen as a group leader for the final year bachelor thesis on the medicinal properties of rhizomes for the pharmacognosy module. With my leadership skills and academic knowledge, I helped my group to write a high score achieving, outstanding thesis.

After my internship at a local women hospital, I had the privileged to work as a volunteer pharmacist at ___ pharmaceuticals industry where I had hand-on experiences on organic farming, quality control, and research of herbal and natural supplements. Working together with the established local academics and international researchers was an invaluable experience for me as it widened my knowledge horizon and brought new perspective to my learning journey.

In October 2014, I started my one-year course in _______ leading to a specialist diploma in Biomedical Engineering. I joined the course as biology is one of my favourite subjects, and I was working in a medical field. I specifically enjoyed the module on anatomy and physiology as it sparked my interest in biology and renewed my enthusiasm. However, the most challenging but rewarding experience of the course was the last semester group project where the students were asked to invent an Arduino-programmed biomedical instrument or device. I was one of the three-membered group with two other students. As both of them were electrical engineers, they decided to create a state-of-the-art robotic arm. While the two members were brainstorming the ideas and cracking the code, I was solely in charge of writing the project paper as I had little to none electronic or programming experience. Unfortunately, one of the member withdrew from the course within the first week of semester due to financial reason, and the latter had to leave the country due to visa issues in the last week when the project was due. The project was not completed when I was left as the only member of the group. After many fail attempts to finish the project, I decided to try something new instead of straining to finish the robotic arm which was clearly out of my league. I resolved to work on a mini-centrifuge as I had learnt about centrifugation during my pharmacy study, and I had mulled over the idea a thousand times when I was trying to refine the final product of my essential oil distillation. I worked hard and stayed up all night to write a program complicated enough to drive the motor the correct way, to construct the model as well as to finish a new project paper. The lecturer was surprised of the last minute idea change but pleased with the result. I received a good pass for the module and was recognized to have admirable creative and improvisation skills.

As my passion lies in working with nature and wildlife, it is my long-term dream and life vocation to have a career in natural and environmental research. Thus, when I read about the bachelor program on the molecular ecosystem science at the university of Gottingen, I was immediately interested. I found that the modules offered by the program fit my academic aspiration. To know more about the study program, I contacted Mr. ____, a current master student studying forestry and forest ecology at the University of Gottingen, and had a chance to converse with him. His clarifications on the quality of the program, learning environment, and overall experience as
an international student are positively reassuring, and I am ultimately convinced that the program can equip me with the knowledge and experience necessary to become an outstanding researcher. Furthermore, the history of the university as a major learning ground for the most inspirational Nobel Laureates and literary heroes fills me with a sense of reverence and honour to be a student at the University of ___.

I strongly believe that my experiences and perspectives as an international student can be great assets to the cosmopolitan culture of the university. I am a social person with a knack for literature. I write short stories and do spoken word poetry, also known as slam poetry. Some of my works were published in the university magazines, and I am also one of the champions of the monthly poetry slams held by _____ literary organization in _________. Hence, besides my utmost dedication and undivided attention to the program, I can be of assistance to the university cultural programs and literary scene. I honestly hope to be granted a chance to prove my potential as a student and a future researcher.

Sincerely