Letter of motivation for a M.Sc. programme in Bioinformatics

Question

Hello,I am currently writing a letter of motivation for my application to a M.Sc. programme in Bioinformatics at a German university. Since I'm not a native speaker and this is is my first letter of motivation, I would like to ask for corrections and suggestions with regard to language, structure and content. The following is one of my first drafts:July X, 2015Letter of motivationDear Sir or Madam,I would like to apply for the Master’s Degree in Bioinformatics at Saarland University starting in October 2015. Currently I am studying in my last semester in the B.Sc. programme in Bioinformatics at Saarland University, hearing the last few missing lectures and working on my bachelor’s thesis, which I intend to finish before October 2015.The driving force in my life has always been a strong desire to understand the complex system that is our world. The interactions of countless variables and factors, their cause and effect and the dynamics and patterns they create and how they fit into the greater scheme of things fascinate me endlessly, especially in organic systems that give rise to life. Due to my tendency to think in patterns and systems I additionally have a strong interest in building frameworks and models as well as using them to predict possible outcomes that led me to fall in love with computation.For these reasons I focused on Biology, Mathematics and Chemistry in school, which I also picked as my examination subjects. After school I decided to study Bioinformatics in order to learn how to use computation to describe, understand and predict organic systems. The Bachelor’s programme at Saarland University was my first choice due to its reputation for the quality and high standard of teaching and research as well as the number of reputable computer science and computational biology institutes and research opportunities.At the same time I unfortunately struggled with severe health problems that hampered my ability to concentrate and take on a full workload and made me not reach my full potential. In summer 2014 I started a successful treatment and started to recover, which allowed me in winter semester 2014  to catch up on all the lectures I had missed so far and also enables me to finish my bachelor’s studies in regular time. Overcoming this struggle made me a more resilient and confident person and also taught me a lot about myself and how far I can push myself.During my studies I especially enjoyed doing projects like the protein-protein-docking challenge in “Bioinformatik 2”, since they allowed me to test and apply my knowledge of the theory and additionally advanced my programming skills. The topics that chiefly captivated my interest were neural, metabolic and gene regulatory networks, gene expression, as well as systems biology and it is these areas that I wish to research in the future.  Accordingly, I chose the examination of the antibiotic-resistance in S. aureus with SNP data and GRNs as the topic of my bachelor’s thesis under the supervision of ***** ***** at the Chair of Computational Biology at Saarland University.Having studied at the Center for Bioinformatics for the last six semesters, I had the opportunity to make first-hand experiences with the university, style and quality of teaching, the professors and fellow students. Additionally, working on my bachelor’s thesis at the Chair of Computational Biology gave me further insight into the areas of research that mirror my own interests. I am thus confident that the Master’s programme in Bioinformatics at Saarland University is the best choice for me and that I would be a suitable addition to the programme.Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your decision.Sincerely yours,DoobRight of the bat I have two questions regarding the content:1) I already listed my hobbies and interests outside my studies in my CV which is why I opted to not mention those in my letter of motivation for now. Is this advisable?2) I'm unsure about the paragraph dealing with my health problems, I do not wish to sound as if I was making excuses or looking for special treatment, but at the same time dealing with them was a defining moment in my personal growth and I do think that being able to successfully hear 10 lectures in one semester despite being far from being fully recovered shows that I can handle pressure and a lot of work while producing good results. Opinions?I'd be really grateful for your help and want to thank you in advance,Doob

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Doob1) I already listed my hobbies and interests outside my studies in my CV which is why I opted to not mention those in my letter of motivation for now. Is this advisable?

The motivation letter is a vehicle by which you "sell yourself" to a program or job. Besides letting them know about you, it also lets the readers know how you express yourself, your thinking process, and specific interests.
The applicant has to select the content and style accordingly.
It's your choice to include, exclude or emphasize information that is already on your CV.

Doob2) I'm unsure about the paragraph dealing with my health problems, I do not wish to sound as if I was making excuses or looking for special treatment, but at the same time dealing with them was a defining moment in my personal growth and I do think that being able to successfully hear 10 lectures in one semester despite being far from being fully recovered shows that I can handle pressure and a lot of work while producing good results. Opinions?

It does not read like making excuses. You did not say that you proved to yourself that you could handle pressure under extenuating circumstances. And you did not say if you had fully recovered.
"Overcoming a struggle" is odd. You can overcome a handicap or disability.

Also "hearing lectures" is quite odd. Hear is quite passive: I hear the noise of the traffic, the song of a bird, and the roar of the waves. Instead say "attend lectures."

Teechr · Answer

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to apply for the Master’s Degree in Bioinformatics at Saarland University starting in October 2015. Currently I am studying in my last semester in the B.Sc. programme in Bioinformatics at Saarland University, ~~hearing the last few missing~~ (catching up on some missed lectures and) working on my bachelor’s thesis, which I intend to finish before October 2015.

The driving force in my life has always been a strong desire to understand the complex system that is our world. The interactions of countless variables and factors, their cause and effect and the dynamics and patterns they create and how they fit into the greater scheme of things fascinate me endlessly, especially in organic systems that give rise to life. Due to my tendency to think in patterns and systems, I additionally have a strong interest in building frameworks and models as well as in using them to predict various possible outcomes. That has led me to fall in love with computation.

For these reasons I focused on biology, mathematics and chemistry in school, which I also picked as my examination subjects. After school I decided to study Bioinformatics in order to learn how to use computation to understand, describe and predict organic systems. The bachelor’s programme at Saarland University was my first choice due to its reputation for ~~the~~ quality and high standard of teaching and research. ~~as well as the number of reputable computer science and computational biology institutes and research opportunities~~.

At the same time, I unfortunately struggled with severe health problems that hampered my ability to concentrate and take on a full workload and made me not reach my full potential. In the summer of 2014, I ~~started a successful treatment and~~ started to recover, after a successful course of treatment, which allowed me in the winter semester of 2014 to catch up on all the lectures I had missed ~~so far~~ and also enabled me to finish my bachelor’s studies ~~in regular~~ on time. Overcoming this struggle made me a more resilient and confident person and also taught me a lot about myself and how far I can push myself.

During my studies I especially enjoyed doing projects like the protein-protein-docking challenge in “Bioinformatik 2”, since they allowed me to test and apply my theoretical knowledge, ~~of the theory~~ and ~~additionally~~ I also advanced my programming skills. The topics that chiefly captivated my interest were neural, metabolic and gene regulatory networks, gene expression, as well as systems biology, and it is these areas that I wish to research in the future. Accordingly, I chose the examination of the antibiotic-resistance in S. Aureus with SNP data and GRNs as the topic of my bachelor’s thesis under the supervision of ***** ***** at the Chair of Computational Biology at Saarland University.

Having studied at the Center for Bioinformatics for the last six semesters, I have had the opportunity to become familiar ~~make first-hand experiences~~ with the university, its style and quality of teaching, the professors and my fellow students. Additionally, working on my bachelor’s thesis at the Chair of Computational Biology has given ~~gave~~ me further insight into the areas of research that mirror my own interests. I am thus confident that the master’s programme in Bioinformatics at Saarland University is the best choice for me and that I would be a suitable ~~addition to~~ candidate for the programme.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your decision.

Sincerely yours,
Doob

Doob1) I already listed my hobbies and interests outside my studies in my CV which is why I opted to not mention those in my letter of motivation for now. Is this advisable?

Not necessarily! If your hobbies/interests can demonstrate special personal qualities, then it's fine to talk about them in your motivational letter.

Doob2) I'm unsure about the paragraph dealing with my health problems, I do not wish to sound as if I was making excuses or looking for special treatment, but at the same time dealing with them was a defining moment in my personal growth and I do think that being able to successfully hear 10 lectures in one semester despite being far from being fully recovered shows that I can handle pressure and a lot of work while producing good results. Opinions?

That's fine. I'd keep it.

Note: Consider deleting the text in brackets in the first paragraph. I don't think it sounds good, in a motivational letter, to talk about lectures you'd missed, unless of course you'd missed them because of your medical condition, in which case you should make that clear.

Doob · Answer

Thank you for your comments, AlpheccaStars.

AlpheccaStars"Overcoming a struggle" is odd. You can overcome a handicap or disability.

Does "overcoming adversity" sound less odd? Do you have alternative wordings in mind?

AlpheccaStars · Answer

DoobDoes "overcoming adversity" sound less odd?

That's fine.

Doob · Answer

Thank you for your comments, suggestions and corrections, teechr.

teechrThe bachelor’s programme at Saarland University was my first choice due to its reputation for ~~the~~ quality and high standard of teaching and research. ~~as well as the number of reputable computer science and computational biology institutes and research opportunities.~~

Curious, what do you think is wrong with the last part of the sentence?

teechrNot necessarily! If your hobbies/interests can demonstrate special personal qualities, then it's fine to talk about them in your motivational letter.

They are relevant in the sense that I spend a lot of time reading and absorbing information about things I find interesting and play with that information and discuss it, but in essence they are an aspect of what I already described in the second paragraph. I'll think about it again.

teechrNote: Consider deleting the text in brackets in the first paragraph. I don't think it sounds good, in a motivational letter, to talk about lectures you'd missed, unless of course you'd missed them because of your medical condition, in which case you should make that clear.

They are not lectures I missed, it is part of the programme to do 30 credit points per semester which means the bachelor's thesis and 1-3 lectures in the last semester. Since they get my transcript of records they can see that I still have 30 CP, including the thesis, left to do. I wish to assure them that I'm working both on my thesis and the remaining credit points and intend to finish both before the winter semester of 2015. It seems that the wording I used is misleading.

Does the new wording bring my intended meaning across?

I also just noticed that they capitalise Master's and Bachelor's on their website and will therefore do so as well in my letter.

Letter of motivation

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to apply for the Master’s Degree in Bioinformatics at Saarland University starting in the winter semester of 2015. Currently I am studying in my last semester in the B.Sc. programme in Bioinformatics at Saarland University, attending the last/remaining lectures and working on my Bachelor’s thesis, which I intend to finish before October 2015.

The driving force in my life has always been a strong desire to understand the complex system that is our world. The interactions of countless variables and factors, their cause and effect and the dynamics and patterns they create and how they fit into the greater scheme of things fascinate me endlessly, especially in organic systems that give rise to life. Due to my tendency to think in patterns and systems I additionally have a strong interest in building frameworks and models as well as in using them to predict various outcomes. That has led me to fall in love with computation.

For these reasons I focused on biology, mathematics and chemistry in school, which I also picked as my examination subjects. After school I decided to study Bioinformatics in order to learn how to use computation to understand, describe and predict organic systems. The Bachelor’s programme at Saarland University was my first choice due to its reputation for high quality and standard of teaching and research as well as the number of reputable computer science and computational biology institutes and research opportunities.

At the same time I unfortunately struggled with severe health problems that hampered my ability to concentrate and take on a full workload and made me not reach my full potential. In the summer of 2014 I started a treatment that allowed me in the winter semester of 2014 to catch up on all the lectures I had missed despite not being fully recovered and also enabled me to finish my Bachelor’s studies on time. Overcoming this adversity made me a more resilient and confident person and also taught me a lot about myself and how far I can push myself.

During my studies I especially enjoyed projects like the protein-protein-docking challenge in “Bioinformatik 2”, since they allowed me to test and apply my theoretical knowledge and also to advance my programming skills. The topics that chiefly captivated my interest were neural, metabolic and gene regulatory networks, gene expression, as well as systems biology and it is these areas that I wish to research in the future. Accordingly, I chose the examination of the antibiotic-resistance in S. aureus with SNP data and GRNs as the topic of my Bachelor’s thesis under the supervision of **** **** at the Chair of Computational Biology at Saarland University.

Having studied at the Center for Bioinformatics for the last six semesters, I have had the opportunity to become familiar with the university, its style and quality of teaching, the professors and my fellow students. Additionally, working on my Bachelor’s thesis at the Chair of Computational Biology has given me further insight into the areas of research that mirror my own interests. I am thus confident that the Master’s programme in Bioinformatics at Saarland University is the best choice for me and that I would be a suitable candidate to the programme.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to hearing your decision.

Yours faithfully,
Markus Hollander

Doob · Answer

AlpheccaStars That's fine.

I'll use that then, thank you.

Teechr · Answer

DoobCurious, what do you think is wrong with the last part of the sentence?

It's a bit repetitive.

DoobI spend a lot of time reading and absorbing information about things I find interesting

I don't think it's necessary to mention that in your letter.

DoobDoes the new wording bring my intended meaning across?

Yes, it's better. You can say: "attending the remaining lectures."

Letter of motivation for a M.Sc. programme in Bioinformatics

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