Letter of Motivation - Feedback Please

Greetings everyone,

As mentioned in the subject this question is regarding a letter of motivation I have drafted to supplement my application to the mentioned program/university.

Having read through a few examples posted by others, and the following comments/suggestions by the peers, I think it's time for me to share what I have.

The goal is to hammer out any crooks and imperfections, leaving a letter that would do nothing short of supporting my application in a positive manner.

Having written what I have, my pattern for dictation was:
-summary (who, what, why)
-foundation for the goal
-main stages leading to the definition and obtaining clarity on the goal
-supplementary personal attributes that would compliment educational/professional goals
-outlook on the reasons behind choosing said institute
-closing summary

Getting to the point, the letter is as follows:

Saxion University of Applied Sciences

<date>

Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm an experienced Electronics Technologist who is very keen on upgrading his current education through your Bachelors degree program in Electrical Engineering (starting September 2013). With an underlying passion towards electronics, accompanied with a thirst for knowledge and a strong technical background, I want to accomplish my goal at Saxion.

At the age of 10 years I constructed my first complete circuit, consisting of merely a 9V batter, a resistor, and a LED; since then I knew that electronics is where my passion lies. I graduated from high school with an academic emphasis on Physics, Mathematics, and Electronics, at the age of 16. Upon graduation from high school I applied for the Electrical and Computer Engineering Technology program at British Columbia Institute of Technology (2006, Canada). The reason I chose BCIT is because they are known for their rigorous training, putting emphasis on practical understanding of the fundamentals. I graduated without any hurdles, obtaining a Diploma of Technology (specialization in Electrical Power & Industrial Control).

During my last semester of the E&CET program at BCIT I decided to enroll in the institute's Bachelors program in Electrical Engineering to see if it would be the right path for me. This program was newly constructed and I was among the first batch of students going through. During my third year I began to sense incoherence in the courses' structure as it was the instructors' first time teaching those courses as well. Eventually I found it difficult to stay motivated, losing confidence in the program. At this stage I decided to gain professional experience in the meantime as the program at BCIT went through its fine-tuning process. This decision was a major eye-opener for me as I was maturing as an adult, able to develop a better understanding of the career path I wish to pursue.

I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to work as a Precision Sensor Technologist at AML Oceanographic. Working with top-notch engineers, I developed an in-depth understanding of various analog and digital electronic applications, data acquisition techniques, and principles relating to the field of instrumentation. Learning how to calibrate sensors and instruments, being in charge of quality control, troubleshooting electronics - I gained fluency with a variety of tools and electronic equipment. This experience handsomely complimented the education and training I received at BCIT. I found myself dedicating my personal time on weekends to the job, in order to pursue a deeper understanding of the engineering behind the sensors and instruments.

Electronics have always been a major part of my life. For example, I build and race remote controlled vehicles such as cars and trucks, even occasionally on professional levels (race clubs, IFMAR). I placed first in several local competitions, specifically in the 1:10th scale electric off-road category. This allows me to combine my passion for electronics with my interest in vehicles, materials science and physics. When I am not spending time on my RC cars and trucks, I'm designing PCB's and building circuits at home using spare parts and home-made PCB's. Examples of such would include basic display circuits, audio amplifiers, and power supplies. In summary, I have always found myself extremely comfortable around technical matters and thusly, am strongly passionate towards expanding my knowledge in the field.

I'm eager to continue on the path of electrical engineering. Due to an unfortunate family emergency I had to depart Canada in December, 2011. Since then I have spent my time learning French as I researched post-secondary institutes that could potentially provide the education and nurturing environment I seek on my path of electrical engineering.

I'm a coherent individual who brings a passion for innovation and a thirst for knowledge. Finding myself intrigued and captivated by electronics, I want to expand my knowledge in a desirable environment. The resources and facilities of Saxion University would supplement my goal to become an electrical engineer. This opinion is reinforced by the positive feedback I received from a current student in your Electrical Engineering program. Furthermore, given my diplomatic background, there will be no adaptability issues for me in Netherlands. I have lived in a variety of environments, with people of every different culture and background.

Given my discipline, ethics and principles, and the commitment to apply nothing less than my best at all times, I believe I have what it takes to be a worthy addition to your program. With my sense of self-respect and self-awareness, I am sure to exceed your expectations. Therefore, I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely,

Saurabh Bhardwaj