Letter of Intent

Could you please tell me if this statement of intent is grammatical, natural and correctly written according to North American English standards? I am doubtful about punctuation marks mainly.

Name
Address
Contact no: 123
Email: Email Removed

April 02, 2016

ATTN: Graduate Selection Committee

I am writing this to inform you that I am interested in applying at the XYZ University for M.A.Sc. program in Materials Engineering, which is a program of study situated in XXX Department (UISNS).
I am a fresh graduate from XDF University of Engineering and Technology, Karachi, Pakistan. I completed Bachelors of Engineering in the field of Metallurgical Engineering and passed the requisite exams held in the year 2015. The degree was conferred to me on 18th March 2016.
Right from the very beginning, I always tried my best to be at the top of my academic career, and fortunately, I have always been in the top three throughout my primary and secondary education. I developed interest in metallurgical engineering when I was obtaining secondary school education. There was a topic of “Metals” in one of our physics class, the teacher was explaining the topic which I carefully listened with a sound mind and determination like never before, as I always had a curiosity as a kid about materials that surrounds me and always showed greater interest to understand the phenomenon behind the making of tools, machinery, electronic gadgets and different utensils. I always thought how the body of these things came to its existence and how the materials are produced like the way they are and this is possibly the best way to describe how I discovered my passion in material science or simply being specific, in metallurgy. At that time, my motivation to choose metallurgy was further excelled when I was awarded with the title of “student of physics” for obtaining highest marks in the given subject. At that day I realized my field of interest, therefore, I decided to choose Metallurgical Engineering for my engineering career as my undergraduate major with the vision to follow my obsession.
I never took my field as granted but tried to develop the most of my abilities in Metallurgy. From the first year of under-graduation, I started learning many courses on material science, understood the art of how different metals can be extracted which is later used for household or infrastructure purposes, learned different subjects throughout academics including physical metallurgy, extractive metallurgy, inspection and testing of materials, characterization of materials, polymers and composite materials, powder metallurgy, fracture mechanics & failure analysis of materials and many more. I have worked diligently these past four years to increase my understanding so to cope with these subjects, and I have greatly enjoyed the process. I wish to study and to do research in extractive metallurgy, physical metallurgy, heat treatment of materials, fracture mechanics and failure analysis of materials, advanced materials, and corrosion of materials so I can further investigate and contribute to the understanding of various physical and chemical phenomena encountered in Materials Engineering. Due to this reason, I primarily intent Dr. XTY or Dr. LPO to supervise my research. On the contrary if neither of their supervision is not possible then I would like Dr WER to supervise my thesis based program.
During my graduation, I also took part in various engineering projects namely design and preparation of mini-hydro electric generator and preparation of mini sand casting mold. I have also gained industrial experience when I was in third year, I was appointed as an intern at a hot rolling mill, where hot rolled steel bars were being made. Their, I understood about the different processes on the floor. I also gathered practical knowledge regarding the criteria of inspection and testing of raw materials supplied and final product thus obtained by rolling. My internship report covers all aspects as described above.
My motivation and commitment for pursuing M.A.Sc. in materials is not only because of developing the earlier interest in the given field but also due to the outstanding experience I endured about learning this field, which was further inclined by acquiring 2nd position overall with a CGPA of 3.87 out of 4 in my batch. My future goals are simple and that is to see myself in top positions in engineering arena by learning more and more about the subject of material science and engineering. I show interest to dedicate myself in research and aspire for such a career because I want to rise above the conventional mainstream and do something worthwhile which will serve towards a better world for us and generations to come. To achieve accordingly, I personally believe that the Carleton University is the best out there, where I would like to pursue my masters, receiving a degree from such acclaimed and renowned institute would be really beneficial in achieving my academic goals. On the other side, this is the best way for me to have a cultural exchange experience that I had dreamed of as a child receiving primary education. I am highly motivated towards research in materials science, I never got a chance to work under a research supervisor, if I get appointed, it would be my first experience which I will grasp fully in whatever conditions or situations which shall be assigned to me. I believe I can be a great value to this institute because I always try with the fullest potential to top the table and thankfully I always have been, that I can demonstrate by my grades and certificates of excellence.
In addition to the merit position during my undergrad career, I had also spent the last year of my graduation as an undergraduate researcher in understanding the flow mechanics and chemistry of pig iron in blast furnace and for this purpose I took my final year project which was to design and develop laboratory scale blast furnace for small scale pig iron production. Fortunately, our project group did finish designing and developing the furnace but our group hadn’t produced pig iron of required compositions due to some financial issues of maintaining the flow chemistry of the product. Our project supervisor praised the fact that we have completed designing and fabricating the complex structure of the furnace and thus called off the production, which required extra amount of money to obtain the final products. The juniors are now working on it.
The education so far I received in materials engineering subjects, stood as a second position holder in the batch, confidence in my abilities, intellectual competence, requisite skills and my keen interest for learning more about materials demonstrates that I am an excellent fit for M.A.Sc. Program at XYZ University. I have researched the program and determined that the coursework and research profile of the college are a perfect match to my academic profile. The excellent research facilities combined with appropriate faculty guidance at this university, offer me a definite opportunity to complete my graduate studies. I would really appreciate if you consider my graduate application in light of my academic achievements and supervise my research.

Thank you,
Name.