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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
Letter of Complaint--Expert Writers: please fix
(Ms X works at the universities complaints department).
Dear Ms X:
I am a business graduate of X university and undertook my work placement at Y.
I wish to express my disgust in the way Y exploited the coopeative education program by hiring me to receive unpaid labour without offering me either the possibility of a full time job after the internship or a reference. On more than one ocassion I pleaded with my fomer supervisor to be a verbal referee but each time she declined, saying she is rarely a referee for interns. Consequently, I was unable to find a job for six months, as each employer requested a reference from Y.
Having worked there unpaid without hearing any complaints about my work practices, I feel it is simply unfair they can't at the very least give me a verbal reference.
I strongly endorse the cooperative education program but feel the current relationship X has with Y needs to be fixed and monitored lest prospective interns are/be faced with the same bleak, underserved job search.
I must add I wish to be unnamed should Y be confronted about this.
I look foward to your reply.
Kind Regards,
X
Dear Ms X:
I am a business graduate of X university and undertook my work placement at Y.
I wish to express my disgust in the way Y exploited the coopeative education program by hiring me to receive unpaid labour without offering me either the possibility of a full time job after the internship or a reference. On more than one ocassion I pleaded with my fomer supervisor to be a verbal referee but each time she declined, saying she is rarely a referee for interns. Consequently, I was unable to find a job for six months, as each employer requested a reference from Y.
Having worked there unpaid without hearing any complaints about my work practices, I feel it is simply unfair they can't at the very least give me a verbal reference.
I strongly endorse the cooperative education program but feel the current relationship X has with Y needs to be fixed and monitored lest prospective interns are/be faced with the same bleak, underserved job search.
I must add I wish to be unnamed should Y be confronted about this.
I look foward to your reply.
Kind Regards,
X
Top answer
Some problem areas underlined: Dear Ms X: I am a business graduate of X university and undertook my work placement at Y. I wish to express my disgust in the way Y exploited the coopeative education program by hiring me to receive unpaid labour without offering ( Needs reorganization; the meaning is confused) me either the possibility of a full time job after the internship or a reference. On more than one ocassion I pleaded with my fomer supervisor to be a verbal referee but each time she declined, saying she is rarely a referee for interns.
- Some problem areas underlined: Dear Ms X: I am a business graduate of X university and undertook my work placement at Y.
- I wish to express my disgust in the way Y exploited the coopeative education program by hiring me to receive unpaid labour without offering ( Needs reorganization; the meaning is confused) me either the possibility of a full time job after the internship or a reference.
- On more than one ocassion I pleaded with my fomer supervisor to be a verbal referee but each time she declined, saying she is rarely a referee for interns.
- Consequently, I was unable to find a job for six months, as each employer requested a reference from Y.
- Having worked there unpaid without hearing any complaints about my work practices, I feel it is simply unfair that they can't at the very least give me a verbal reference.
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6 Answers
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Some problem areas underlined:
Dear Ms X:
I am a business graduate of X university and undertook my work placement at Y.
I wish to express my disgust in the way Y exploited the coopeative education program by hiring me to receive unpaid labour without offering (Needs reorganization; the meaning is confused) me either the
Dear Ms X:
I am a business graduate of X university and undertook my work placement at Y.
I wish to express my disgust in the way Y exploited the coopeative education program by hiring me to receive unpaid labour without offering (Needs reorganization; the meaning is confused) me either the
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Thank you.
I was half expecting a re-write, but if that's all that's wrong with it, then I guess I should be relatively happy--I just feel that some sentences are slightly drawn-out and that there should be a more concise way to say things. Thanks again.
I was half expecting a re-write, but if that's all that's wrong with it, then I guess I should be relatively happy--I just feel that some sentences are slightly drawn-out and that there should be a more concise way to say things. Thanks again.
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Mister Micawber to receive unpaid labour without offering (Needs reorganization; the meaning is confused)
After scratching my head for a couple of minutes, I decided fixing this was a little too challenging for me. Nevertheless, here is my re-write, but I'm sure you have something better up your sleeve?
by hiring me soely to take advantage of the
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Please put your changes into a revised version so that I can check it in context.
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Dear Ms X:
I am a business graduate of X University and undertook my work placement at Y.
I am appalled at the way Y exploited the cooperative education program by hiring me to avoid having to pay someone to do the work without offering me either the possibility of a full time job after the internship or a reference. On more than one occassion I pleaded with my former superviso
I am a business graduate of X University and undertook my work placement at Y.
I am appalled at the way Y exploited the cooperative education program by hiring me to avoid having to pay someone to do the work without offering me either the possibility of a full time job after the internship or a reference. On more than one occassion I pleaded with my former superviso
00
Dear Ms X:
I am a business graduate of X University and undertook my work placement at Y.
I am appalled at the way Y exploited the cooperative education program by hiring me in order to avoid having to pay someone to do the work, while offering me neither the possibility of a full time job after the internship nor a reference. On more than one occa
I am a business graduate of X University and undertook my work placement at Y.
I am appalled at the way Y exploited the cooperative education program by hiring me in order to avoid having to pay someone to do the work, while offering me neither the possibility of a full time job after the internship nor a reference. On more than one occa
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