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Sharleenandrea Posted 17 years ago
Letter Writing
Letter for Head Hunter
Ciao! I just finish writing/updating a cover letter for a head hunter who offers a position in the financial services. I hope it is quite good, but I'd want to ask you if you can have a look at it, and see if there is any sentence/concept which could be expressed better or in a most fluent way.
Thank you very much!!
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am applying for the position as a fixed income and derivatives marketer you are offering through the website of my University. My interest for finance and markets dates back to 2003, when I bought, on my father’s advice, my first mutual fund share; in the following years I cultivated this passion, experimenting strategies through virtual portfolios and broadening my knowledge of how markets work in practice. Now I am looking for a job which is related to this area, and I feel enthusiastic about the idea to get an international opportunity.
I am currently completing a three-month internship at Bank A, in its Investment Banking Division. As a member of the M&A Team, I collaborate with analysts in evaluating key financials of companies involved in transactions, collecting data and implementing models on Excel. I have also had the opportunity to take part in the merger between XXX and YYY, two French utilities, assessing a sensitivity analysis of XXX's equity value to parameters like growth rate and cost of capital. In 2008 I have completed another internship at Bank B, in the Private Banking Division: I worked directly with senior bankers, being involved both in relations and investment activities, improving my knowledge of the investment process and operating with a high degree of autonomy. I believe these experiences have been extremely enriching, as I have been exposed both to the market and the corporate sides of finance; I have also developed excellent communication skills and, above all, the ability to work with accuracy and attention to detail, even under pressure and while respecting deadlines.
I hope you will consider my curriculum vitae; should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much for your time and attention.
Yours sincerely,
Thank you very much!!
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am applying for the position as a fixed income and derivatives marketer you are offering through the website of my University. My interest for finance and markets dates back to 2003, when I bought, on my father’s advice, my first mutual fund share; in the following years I cultivated this passion, experimenting strategies through virtual portfolios and broadening my knowledge of how markets work in practice. Now I am looking for a job which is related to this area, and I feel enthusiastic about the idea to get an international opportunity.
I am currently completing a three-month internship at Bank A, in its Investment Banking Division. As a member of the M&A Team, I collaborate with analysts in evaluating key financials of companies involved in transactions, collecting data and implementing models on Excel. I have also had the opportunity to take part in the merger between XXX and YYY, two French utilities, assessing a sensitivity analysis of XXX's equity value to parameters like growth rate and cost of capital. In 2008 I have completed another internship at Bank B, in the Private Banking Division: I worked directly with senior bankers, being involved both in relations and investment activities, improving my knowledge of the investment process and operating with a high degree of autonomy. I believe these experiences have been extremely enriching, as I have been exposed both to the market and the corporate sides of finance; I have also developed excellent communication skills and, above all, the ability to work with accuracy and attention to detail, even under pressure and while respecting deadlines.
I hope you will consider my curriculum vitae; should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much for your time and attention.
Yours sincerely,
Top answer
ME; If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;. because they make a much more powerful first impression. You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader.
- ME; If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;.
- because they make a much more powerful first impression.
- You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader.
- Use those 10 seconds (the first paragraph) very wisely and carefully - they are your precious jewels of time..
- There is a lot of competition out there, and such job offerings are scare.
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5 Answers
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ME;
If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;. because they make a much more powerful first impression.
You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader. Use those 10 seconds (the first paragraph) very wisely and carefully - they are your precious jewels of time..
There is a lot of competition out there, and such job offerings are scare. I'
If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;. because they make a much more powerful first impression.
You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader. Use those 10 seconds (the first paragraph) very wisely and carefully - they are your precious jewels of time..
There is a lot of competition out there, and such job offerings are scare. I'
00
Good advice, thank you! Actually my consideration was that they have also the CV, which is the main source to see previous experiences; in my aim, the cover letter would be more focused on talking about interesting or explaining those experiences: that's the reason why I did't believe it was necessary to put them in the first paragraph.
What about language, words used, and verbs (past simple
What about language, words used, and verbs (past simple
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The grammar is OK, I didn't see obvious errors.
Although you are very right in that the CV has all your personal information and background, you have to ask yourself - "what is the first piece of paper in my package they will read?" - and put your best "WOW" effect there. You need to motivate and entice the reader to go further.
Picture yourself in the reader's position - you hav
Although you are very right in that the CV has all your personal information and background, you have to ask yourself - "what is the first piece of paper in my package they will read?" - and put your best "WOW" effect there. You need to motivate and entice the reader to go further.
Picture yourself in the reader's position - you hav
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Yeah, I think you are right. I have followed your advice and changed the letter before sending. Thank you!!
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Maybe you can post your final revision here for sharing purposes. Thanks!
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