Learning To Write

Hi,

I am learning to write basic things and would appreciate any input that anyone would be kind enough to share. I am taking adult english classes and have written a "process paragraph" but am unsure of how well it would be received. I am very concerned with how the topic sentence relates to the whole paragraph as well as how well the paragraph itself is written. It is a gr.12 equivalent just so you know.

Thanks. Here is the paragraph:

Mastering the basics of chi kung meditation will equip the beginner with

the knowledge of their body and mental discipline that they will need before

moving on to more advanced techniques. Start out by finding a quiet place where you know

you will not be disturbed. Sitting cross-legged on the floor; breathe at a normal pace

and allow any thoughts swim into your mind to fall away. Allow yourself several

minutes to relax and forget about everything in your day so that your mind is left blank

and relaxed. The meditation begins with a deep five second inhalation through the nose.

Start this breath by pushing out your lower abdomen in order to expand your

diaphragm and let the bottom of your lungs fill with air. As you feel your stomach stretching to it's

limit begin to expand your chest to continue filling your lungs to their limit. Once a full breath has

been achieved allow the air to slowly leak out of the mouth over a ten second

count. Let your chest to deflate naturally and then slowly contract your abdomen to ensure no air is left in your

lungs. At the end of the exhalation it should feel as though you are forcing every last bit of air with

your abdomen. Then, with a tight stomach and empty of air, deny your body oxygen by refraining to

inhale for five seconds. Ignore the panic that floods your mind and at the end of the five seconds

restart the breathing from the beginning. Circling through this process for twenty minutes will teach

the student to understand their body on a deeper level, and develop the intense mental focus that

will be essential for more advanced techniques as well as aid them in their day to day life.