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Eagle Posted 22 years ago
Jokes, Puzzles & Riddles

Laughing material

>We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of
>modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install
>voice mail?"
>
>Imagine praying and hearing this:
>Hi! Thank you for calling GOD.
>Please select one of the following options:
>Press 1 for Requests
>Press 2 for Thanksgiving
>Press 3 for Complaints
>Press 4 for All Other Inquiries
>Else wait for our Customer Support Executive.
>
>What if God used the familiar excuse?
>"I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right
>now. However, your prayer is important to us, and will be answered
>in the order it as received, so please stay on the line."
>
>Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in
>Prayer?
>If you would like to speak to Allah, Press 1.
>For Lord Jesus, Press 2.
>For Lord Krishna, Sorry He is on Annual Leave!
>For a directory of other God's & Angels, Press 3
>If you would like to hear Narad sing a Bhajan while you are
>holding,please press 4.
>To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5,
>enter his or her PAN user ID, then press the 0 key. If you get a
>negative response, try area code 420 for (Hell).
>
>Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please
>hang up and try again tomorrow.
>
>This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious
>holiday.
>
>Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency
>assistance when this office is closed, contact your local Priest at
>your neighborhood Temple.
>
Thanx
Nav
  

Top answer

Funny Away Messages!!! I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for YOUR SCREEN NAME , your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

— Lilbit

  • Funny Away Messages!!!
  • I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!
  • Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for YOUR SCREEN NAME , your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.
  • It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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67 Answers
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Funny Away Messages!!!

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for YOUR SCREEN NAME , your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.

It is better to be silent a
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Hi,
A new one,

A Broker was showing a flat to a person. The customer was not impressed, suddenly he finds a cockroach and shouts
Customer-- I see cockroches dancing here.
Broker----- So? Do not expect Pamela Anderson to dance for you instead?
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Santa Singh decided to cross the English channel.
He started to swim, halfway he feels he is not going to make it to the other side, so he swims all the way back
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Question#1:
Santa, Banta,manta,Hanta started a garage. However, they did not have customers. Why?
;
;
;
;
;
Answer: The garage was on the first floor.


Question#2: They decided to sell off the garage and buy taxi. They still did not have any customers. Why?
Answer: All four were siting inside. No room for customers.


Question#3:
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My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
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I bought
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Those are really good. Here is a good one that I spotted.

I'm on a 30 day Diet. So far I have lost 10 days. Yes thats it.
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This is teriffic.My *** (there I go!) , I burst out laughing... Keep it up.
Keep in touch at Email Removed. I too teach English
Bye
Anita
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Hey,
Thankyou lilbit for that joke.
I want every one to pour out some stuff in this section, I do not want the only one to be putting in the stuffs.
Everone's Invited in the Party
NAV
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Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Jim suddenly
jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.
Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and
pulled Jim out.


When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he
immediately or
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Traveller to Captain of the Ship: How far is the Land
Captain: Just Three miles
Traveller: Which way?
Captain: Down
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