0
Park paint 704 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Korean Government Scholarship Master Program- Personal Statement

Hi everyone, this is my statement of purpose

It is too long to fill in the form so how can i shorten it? Please help me!!!!

Thank you very much

As a biotechnology major, I have always had my sights set on areas of science that go beyond medicine. I have used my fascination in biotechnology to learn about its applications to everyday life, and I am willing to contribute all my knowledge in the health science in Vietnam. Before immersing myself in Biotechnology, I tried different fields such as Chemistry or Cosmetic Development. However, it was not until I did my summer internship in the Hung Vuong Hospital that I found one field of Biotechnology can be actually applied in real life and affect directly human health; that results of research can be used in the hospital. However, the period of time between when the research is done and the results are used in practice is a big deal in Vietnam due to the lack of technology and investment. My plan is to speed up research that can be applied to real life. At this point, KGSP can make my dream come true by enable me to study under one of the most advanced technology in the world.

One of the top universities in Korea, Konkuk University, provides well-equipped laboratories and suitable training program that can support me on pursuing my studies. Konkuk University is also the place where both of my previous supervisor Prof. Bui Hong Thuy and Prof. Nguyen Van Thuan studied and worked for many years. I also have opportunity to visit Konkuk University as a culture exchange student. Although the trip last only two weeks but I was impressive by the education, facilities and people here. KGSP will provide golden opportunity for me to learn about my field of study as well as serving as a bridge to reach my future goals.

There are 4 people in my family. My father is a Cancer Specialist Doctor. Since I was young, I usually followed my father to the hospital and saw many patients. My mother working for a transportation company. I am the oldest child in the family, my brother is a student in the same university as me. Although my family is not rich, they always provide me with best education and supports. I finished my Bachelor on Biotechnology for four years of study. During my study, I was really interested in stem cell biology and human physiology. To satisfy my growing desire for knowledge in these two fields I joined the Cellular Reprogramming Laboratory for a year before my thesis and learned many skills such as cell culture, PCR analysis and chemical preparation. My thesis research- “Effect of Astaxanthin on in vitro growth of porcine oocytes isolated from small antral follicles”- provided me a strong background in culturing follicles. My professor’s extensive knowledge and broad range of experiences in the field have also served as a resource for me to learn about the opportunities available for individuals in biotechnology technology.

I did my summer internship when I in the Infertility Department of Hung Vuong Hospital. It was painful to see many couples going home without any hope after trying all kind of treatments, or kids suffering from cancer and lose their fertility ability. And it was more painful that we are not able to help them because of our lack of knowledge in biotechnology, and in research. At that moment, I promised myself that one day, my research could do something to help those patients. Therefore, I turned this experience into a motivating factor to pursue a career path in research. Another significant experience I have was being a teaching assistant for Chemistry Laboratory. This position not only taught me how to be confident, since I have to stand in front of nearly 30 students and guide them through lab experiments, but also gave me opportunity to develop time management skill because I had four classes per week- 5 hours each- and at that time I registered 24 credits. I’m kind of a person who can work well under pressure, “pressure made diamond” as my mom always says. I just realized it when I have to take an IELTS test at the same time with final exam at university and follow application process for an exchange program. After those experiences, I’ve learned to become more organized and efficient.

Apart from studying in university, I have some extracurricular activities. First is being a member of Alumni association of IU student exchange program since I spent half a year as an exchange student in university of Fukui, Japan. The goal of this activities is sharing study abroad experiences with other students. Next was participating in many courses on Coursera. I found that Coursera is the best website for self-studying during Covid-19 pandemic. I feel grateful Coursera for have given me knowledge to face the challenges of tomorrow. Another activity was participating in cancer research group from School of Medicine. Dr A and I are currently drafting a manuscript reporting our findings for journal submission. My work at IU and School of Medicine has been invaluable as it helped me gain insights on challenges associated with biotechnology and human health and also familiar with the scientific writing style. In another hand, I am really interested with Asian language and culture, so I tried learning Japanese since apart from English my university provides only Japanese. The more I study, the more I feel in love with learning language. I had successfully passed the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT) Level N3. I also want to try Korean in the near future, therefore now I am self-taught about Korean.

About awards, I received third prize of City Academic Olympic in Biology in 2017, this really fulfilled my interest in Biology. I also received two IU Scholarship Dean’s Scholarship in 2nd semester 2017-2018 and 1st semester 2018-2019 for outstanding students in academic records each semester.

The opportunity to study in your university would put me smack in the middle of one of the most exciting research labs on the planet. It can make my dream come true and help me have sufficient ability and knowledge to contribute to science. After gaining valuable hands-on experiences through Master research, I plan to return to Vietnam with the goal of utilizing my knowledge to help infertility patients.

  

Top answer

You need to decide what points are most important, and delete the rest. The most important points are the ones that set you apart from the competitors. You can also tighten the text by removing extraneous phrases, and using shorter, more effective sentences to convey the same idea.

  • You need to decide what points are most important, and delete the rest.
  • The most important points are the ones that set you apart from the competitors.
  • You can also tighten the text by removing extraneous phrases, and using shorter, more effective sentences to convey the same idea.
  • Also, you need to fix the errors of grammar.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

1 Answers
0

You need to decide what points are most important, and delete the rest.
The most important points are the ones that set you apart from the competitors.
You can also tighten the text by removing extraneous phrases, and using shorter, more effective sentences to convey the same idea.
Also, you need to fix the errors of grammar.

Related Questions