Kindly rate my IELTS writing task 2 please

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The control over crime rates has long been hot on the agenda in any period of history. In terms of this matter, there is a controversy over the best measure to reduce juvenile delinquencies. Some might think that parental guidance should be mainly focused on, however, I believe that decent domestic environment alone is insufficient to lead to a world with controllable youth crime.

On the one hand, it is virtually wrong to neglect the role of parents in creating a crime-free generation. As family members are those who frequently interact with any individual, it is vital that there are appropriate parental skills in order to have a good influence on youngsters.

That being said, children, especially teenagers, are also greatly affected by additional elements which may have an even bigger impact on them, as family is not the sole environment they live in. Firstly, there needs to have reference to peer pressure. Children are afraid of judgments from their mates and often have the tendency to imitate those around them regardless of the nature of those actions. Furthermore, law and order among society also needs to be considered in terms of strictness. That way children's behavior can change for the better in advance, thus leads to a better future.

In sum, rather than focusing on parental guidance alone, various elements which can potentially influence a child's characteristics should also be considered in order to somewhat create an isolation from wrong-doings among our future generation.