Kindly evaluate my essay for IELTS Part 2 . Thanks in advance

Growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lesson in the school curriculum To what extent to you agree?

For years, the problem of obesity has been one of the most serious. People of all age and parts of the world have suffered immensely from it. Moreover, it has been believed by some, that addition of physical education such as sports and athletics is the best way to overcome this serious problem. In my opinion, I agree that education focused towards health, helps in prevention of overweight issue in the society.

Introduction of sports and active lifestyle from an early age will benefit in long term vision of a healthy society. Research has found that, Children who express superfluous interest pursue sports and athletics as their professions. For instance, it would be possible in future that, these students will represent their countries in worldwide competitions such as Olympics. Therefore, it is vital to have focused education related to health in schools.

Another point to consider is that with the addition of physical education, students will be more subjective towards their health, in other words they will account to what they are consuming and how it will affect their body rather than eating everything. For example, accountability in food consumption will obsolete crash dieting, which promises immediate results on the cost of health issues and has become widely popular in our younger generation. Hence, induction of health education is critical and demand of current education system.

In conclusion, I would express my agreement towards the fact that school curriculums should include more health education lessons, which is the most effective way in dealing overweight problem and an essential step towards a much healthier and a better off world.