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Achucoul Posted 11 years ago
Grammar

Kindly correct the sentences

Thanks for your kind courtesy extended during my visit at your esteemed concern. And thanks to have showed me the materials which you have been using. We shall work out on the information you have provided and shall choose equivalent materials of ours and shall submit our quotation for the same. parallel, I request you to send the drawings of item number 74, 69 & 22.
  

Top answer

It's a very very formal paragraph. It needs some work to perfect it. In modern British and American English for business, it would be much more normal to use simpler constructions.

— Michael Chambers Teaching English

  • It's a very very formal paragraph.
  • It needs some work to perfect it.
  • In modern British and American English for business, it would be much more normal to use simpler constructions.
  • Would you like me to make it sound more like a native English-speaking businessperson would write it, or do you want to keep the very formal tone?
  • Kind regards, Michael
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4 Answers
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It's a very very formal paragraph. It needs some work to perfect it.

In modern British and American English for business, it would be much more normal to use simpler constructions. Would you like me to make it sound more like a native English-speaking businessperson would write it, or do you want to keep the very formal tone?

Kind regards, Michael
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I would like you to make it sound more like a native English-speaking businessperson.
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Thanks for your kind courtesy extended during my visit at your esteemed concern. And thanks to have showed me the materials which you have been using. We shall work out on the information you have provided and shall choose equivalent materials of ours and shall submit our quotation for the same. parallel, I request you to send the drawings of item number 74, 69 & 22.

Thank you for looking
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Request you to a Incident

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