Kindly check my writing

Question

You are living in a University residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of noise from a new campus restaurant which is open until midnight.

Write a letter to the governor of the University. In your letter,

complain about the situation
say why this is a problem
and propose ways to reduce the noise

Sir,

I am Mr. John who is a student living in a university residence. Through this letter , I am bringing you a notice there is a new restaurant in a campus which creates incessant noise.

The canteen is opened till 1:00 Pm and till it is closed , music is played at high volume , customers are talking loudly and every now and then there is irritating loud noise from the motorbike. This makes it unable to concentrate in study and do an assignment. Also, it disturbs in my sleep schedule. Earlier, I used to sleep at 10:00 pm but these days I cannot sleep till 1:00 pm and this lack of sleep makes me lethargic throughout which affects my performance in a classroom.

Therefore, to make studying environment better not only for me but as well as to my neighbors , I request you to kindly direct the restaurant owner to open the it till 11:00 pm and also lower the music volume level especially after 9: 00 pm.

I hope that you will understand my concern and take a step to better the condition. Thanking you in advance for the same.

Yours faithfully,

John

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Bugs bunnyI am Mr. John

We use our family name, not our given name.

I am Mr. John Smith.

I am Mr. Smith.

Bugs bunny Through this letter , I am bringing you a notice there is a new restaurant in a campus which creates incessant noise.

That is not very natural English. The governor knows about the new restaurant!

I am bringing to your attention the level of noise in the new restaurant located adjacent to our residence.

Bugs bunnyThe canteen is opened till 1:00 Pm and till it is closed , music is played at high volume , customers are talking loudly and every now and then there is irritating loud noise from the motorbike. This makes it unable to concentrate in study and do an assignment. Also, it disturbs in my sleep schedule. Earlier, I used to sleep at 10:00 pm but these days I cannot sleep till 1:00 pm and this lack of sleep makes me lethargic throughout which affects my performance in a classroom.

It is open until 1 am. There is loud music, and the patrons not only talk in loud voices but come and go on loud motorbikes, which adds to the noise level. I am unable to concentrate on my assignments and cannot study effectively. I cannot fall asleep until everyone leaves at 1 am, so I am sleepy and tired the next day.

Bugs bunnyTherefore, to make studying ~~environment~~ better not only for me but as well as to my neighbors , I request you to kindly direct the restaurant owner to open the it till 11:00 pm and also lower the music volume level especially after 9: 00 pm.

Therefore, to make studying better not only for me but as well as for my neighbors, I request you to kindly direct the restaurant owner to close at 11:00 pm and also lower the volume of the music, especially after 9:00 pm.

Kindly check my writing

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