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Tszming Posted 15 years ago
Grammar

Kindly Ask for Any Mistakes in the Texts.

HK customs raided 4 shops, 1 chilled food market and 1 wholesaler in Tai Kuk Tsui, Yau Ma Tei, Sham Shui Po and Wong Tai Sin for suspecting of selling fake top-class golden phoenix Thai jasmine rice. 25 kilogram of suspected fake golden phoenix Thai rice has been confiscated, and 10 suspects have been arrested by the HK customs. HK customs’ initial investigation shows that the suspects put the second-class rice into rice bag with counterfeit trademarks and sealed the bag. Then the suspects sold the fake rice as real products. Meanwhile, the import price of Thai rice rises 6% month-on-month on October.

Kindly Ask for Any Mistakes in the Texts,,, thank you soooo much!
  

Top answer

Your compostion is ok, but still far from being well written. Capitalization errors: Hong Kong Customs, golden phoenix. In real English, there is no "chilled food", though we have "frozen foods".

  • Your compostion is ok, but still far from being well written.
  • Capitalization errors: Hong Kong Customs, golden phoenix.
  • In real English, there is no "chilled food", though we have "frozen foods".
  • Top-class- No!
  • Top grade- Yes.
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5 Answers
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Your compostion is ok, but still far from being well written.

Capitalization errors:

Hong Kong Customs, golden phoenix.

In real English, there is no "chilled food", though we have "frozen foods".

Top-class- No! Top grade- Yes.

Second class rice- No, Low grade or low quality rice Yes.

You can say ".... the price of the imported Thai r
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dimsumexpressAmong the raids, a frozed food market and a wholesaler, a total of 25 Kilos of fake Golden Phoenix Jasmine Rice were found and confisticated
Among the raids, at a frozed food market and a wholesaler, a total of 25 Kilos of fake Golden Phoenix Jasmine Rice were found and confisticated.
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<....at a frozed food market and a wholesaler......>

I don't think "at" is necessary. This is a noun phrase describing what were being raided. If you omit this phrase, the sentence would read:

Among the raids, a total of 25 Kilos of fake Golden Phoenix Jasmine Rice were found and confisticated.
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HK Customs raided 4 shops, 1 chilled food market and 1 wholesaler in Tai Tsui, Yau Ma Tei, Sham Shui Po and Wong Tai Sin on suspicion of selling fake top-class Golden Phoenix Thai jasmine rice. Twenty-five kilograms of suspected rice has been confiscated, and 10 suspects have been arrested. HK Customs’ initial investigation has revealed that

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