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Abc15 Posted 19 years ago
Just Once
Hello everyone!
There was a time I used to feel this way but, thank God, not anymore. As English is a second language for me, you might find technical errors in this poem. Sincere comments would be welcome.
Here it goes...
JUST ONCE
Just once I want to stop these wretched thoughts from coming down so hard on me,
Just once I want to stop this piercing pain from digging deep inside of me.
Just once I want to save my soul from being rotten,
Just once I want to feel whole, not completely broken.
Just once I want not to lie on the bed of needles,
Just once I want to solve all the mind-boggling riddles.
Just once I want to stand upright and leave the swampy ground,
Just once I want to feel good, not so woefully down!
Just once I want to be colourful like the butterfly’s iridescent wings,
Just once I want them not to have me on a string!
Just once I want to stop the paroxysms of rage,
Just once I want to grapple with this bitter ache.
Just once I want not to drink my own tears,
Just once I want to shrug off all the doubts and fears.
Just once I want not to make any more mistakes,
Just once I want to have a lucky break!
Just once I want to have a good night's sleep,
Just once I want to have some peace.
Just once I want them to let me be!
Just once I want to know; has God listened to me?
*~~~*~~~*
There was a time I used to feel this way but, thank God, not anymore. As English is a second language for me, you might find technical errors in this poem. Sincere comments would be welcome.
Here it goes...
JUST ONCE
Just once I want to stop these wretched thoughts from coming down so hard on me,
Just once I want to stop this piercing pain from digging deep inside of me.
Just once I want to save my soul from being rotten,
Just once I want to feel whole, not completely broken.
Just once I want not to lie on the bed of needles,
Just once I want to solve all the mind-boggling riddles.
Just once I want to stand upright and leave the swampy ground,
Just once I want to feel good, not so woefully down!
Just once I want to be colourful like the butterfly’s iridescent wings,
Just once I want them not to have me on a string!
Just once I want to stop the paroxysms of rage,
Just once I want to grapple with this bitter ache.
Just once I want not to drink my own tears,
Just once I want to shrug off all the doubts and fears.
Just once I want not to make any more mistakes,
Just once I want to have a lucky break!
Just once I want to have a good night's sleep,
Just once I want to have some peace.
Just once I want them to let me be!
Just once I want to know; has God listened to me?
*~~~*~~~*
Top answer
'Way, ' way too many ' Just once I want 's-- they get boring immediately. If you leave it in the title only and delete it from the rest of the piece, it will be much more effective.
- 'Way, ' way too many ' Just once I want 's-- they get boring immediately.
- If you leave it in the title only and delete it from the rest of the piece, it will be much more effective.
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2 Answers
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'Way, 'way too many 'Just once I want's-- they get boring immediately. If you leave it in the title only and delete it from the rest of the piece, it will be much more effective.
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Mister Micawber. I really appreciate that. You are right and I surely will consider it in the future to avoid repetition.
Thanks again.
Thanks again.
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