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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Grammar

Just a few sentences...

Hi everyone,

I'm a student from the Czech republic and I currently work on my 1st english short story (sci-fi). Sometimes I feel like some of my sentences sound weird or unnatural and it would be really great, if some native speaker could tell me, if It's true.

Here are some of them:

1. The first thing to draw Jerry's attention after he opened his eyes wasn't the hospital room, his bed or his clothing, but a strange lady in gray blazer sitting by his right side.

2. My weight perception was correct, yet sense of touch was lagging behind. I mistook smooth for rough, silky for coarse and everything felt somehow new.

3. In the evening I already wanted to forget about that deranged limb. I managed at bed or while watching tv, but otherwise it was rather hard.

Thank you, in advance, for any ideas or corretions.
  

Top answer

1. The first thing to attract Jerry's attention after he opened his eyes wasn't the hospital room, his bed or his clothing, but a strange lady in gray blazer sitting by his right side. 2.

  • 1.
  • The first thing to attract Jerry's attention after he opened his eyes wasn't the hospital room, his bed or his clothing, but a strange lady in gray blazer sitting by his right side.
  • 2.
  • My weight perception was correct, yet my sense of touch was lagging behind.
  • I mistook smooth for rough, silky for coars e, a nd everything felt somehow new.
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3 Answers
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1. The first thing to attract Jerry's attention after he opened his eyes wasn't the hospital room, his bed or his clothing, but a strange lady in gray blazer sitting by his right side.

2. My weight perception was correct, yet my sense of touch was lagging behind. I mistook smooth for rough, silky for coarse, and everything felt somehow new.

3.
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....a strange lady in a gray blazer....
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Ty guys, much appreciated. (the "deranged" limb refers to a malfunction artificial arm, which doesn't work as it should)

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