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Josepinto Posted 19 years ago
Letter Writing

Job application letter correction, please...

Hello all,

I really appreciate if somenone would help me correcting my letter for a job application. Thank you very much.

Dear Sir(s),

I am writing to apply for the position of Supply Manager as I find the position interesting and appropriate to my ambitions.

I appreciate challenges and I consider myself able and extremely motivated. I am a results-orientated marketer with proven success in the planning and delivery of effective marketing strategies and activities. My strong professional background is a result of eight years work experience, both as an employee and as a free-lancer consultant. As free-lancer I worked with companies from a wide scope of activity sectors. Hence, I had amplified considerably my experience and empower my professional vision. I believe to possess the essential adjectives towards success: professional, dynamic, autonomous, social and dedicated. I have excellent organisational and technical skills and I truly believe in teamwork. I easily adapt to new environments and I am proud of my flexibility and easiness to learn despite being a woman of strong moral and firm principles.

I would be grateful if you would consider my application. I am available for an interview any weekday to better expose my arguments. I look forward to hearing from you.


Best Regards,
JP
  

Top answer

Hello, JP. It is very well-written grammatically, but also very boring-- it uses all the cliches and stock phrases that cover letters are prey to. All the self-praise will count for nothing with the potential employer until an interview is held.

— Mister Micawber

  • Hello, JP.
  • It is very well-written grammatically, but also very boring-- it uses all the cliches and stock phrases that cover letters are prey to.
  • All the self-praise will count for nothing with the potential employer until an interview is held.
  • I would suggest that, while keeping it brief, you eliminate the self-description and supply instead more details about why the company/position interests you and what specific experiences in your background most make your abilities appropriate to what is needed.
  • Dear Sirs: I am writing to apply for the position of Supply Manager , as I find the position interesting and appropriate to my ambitions.
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4 Answers
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Hello, JP.
It is very well-written grammatically, but also very boring-- it uses all the cliches and stock phrases that cover letters are prey to. All the self-praise will count for nothing with the potential employer until an interview is held. I would suggest that, while keeping it brief, you eliminate the self-description and supply instead more details about why the compa
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Hello,

Thank you very much for your suggestions. As you pointed it seems to me that you are right about the cliches. I will consider that and re-write it.

Kind regards,

JP
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Dear Sir,

Enclosed is my resume in response to your advertisement for an Assistant Statistical Officer in Radio Tuvalu, I hereby forward my application for your perusal and kind consideration please.


I’m a female of 21 years of age and enjoying good health. At the meantime I’m seeking for a job to support my family financially. Also I am very interested in the job and above all

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I will be greatful if my application is given good consideration. correct or not

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