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Nocy Posted 18 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
it's my second draft.
0 it's my second draft. please give me any advice. i want it to be natural to read. 02 br
02 br
00 expression,grammar(especially, pronoun is difficult), punctuation marks etc.. 02 br
02 br
00 this is my first trial of english composition. 02 br
02 br
05 0 00 01 h2
02 br
00 Wisdom for Money 02 br
02 br
00 For a long time, people have had a tendency to believe that money is the 00 02 br
02 br
00 root of all evil. Even those who were rich and in high class didn't like to talk 00 02 br
02 br
00 about money. As far as I know, this is because in the Bible, richness is 00 02 br
02 br
00 considered as evil. For example, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of 00 02 br
02 br
00 a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." However, can 00 02 br
02 br
00 we do anything without money, these days? I guess nobody can answer "yes." 00 02 br
02 br
00 Thus, it is certain that money is essential to us. What we should do is not to 00 02 br
02 br
00 avoid it but learn about how to use it. We need wisdom for money. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 00 First of all, we have to know how to save money. If we know a little bit 02 br
02 br
00 about the tax system, we can save much money. 02 br
02 br
00 For example, 00 00 02 br
02 br
00 ( i have to write an example here, but it isn't easy to find ) 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 00 Secondly, we need to know how to spend money. 00 If we spend money 02 br
02 br
00 with the plan about how to spend, we will not waste money. ( here, too ) 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 In conclusion, money is such an important part of our lives that we should 02 br
02 br
00 be able to control it. Although there are proverbs and stories in which money 02 br
02 br
00 seems to make human beings corrupted, that is actually not because of money. 02 br
02 br
00 This is because the way to control it is wrong. If we use it properly, money can 02 br
02 br
00 give us not only richness but also happiness. We need wisdom for money. 01 h2
0510name [문서의 처음]
02 br
00 expression,grammar(especially, pronoun is difficult), punctuation marks etc.. 02 br
02 br
00 this is my first trial of english composition. 02 br
02 br
05 0 00 01 h2
02 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
00 === 02 br02 br
00 Wisdom for Money 02 br
02 br
00 For a long time, people have had a tendency to believe that money is the 00 02 br
02 br
00 root of all evil. Even those who were rich and in high class didn't like to talk 00 02 br
02 br
00 about money. As far as I know, this is because in the Bible, richness is 00 02 br
02 br
00 considered as evil. For example, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of 00 02 br
02 br
00 a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God." However, can 00 02 br
02 br
00 we do anything without money, these days? I guess nobody can answer "yes." 00 02 br
02 br
00 Thus, it is certain that money is essential to us. What we should do is not to 00 02 br
02 br
00 avoid it but learn about how to use it. We need wisdom for money. 02 br
02 br
02 br
02 br
00 00 First of all, we have to know how to save money. If we know a little bit 02 br
02 br
00 about the tax system, we can save much money. 02 br
02 br
00 For example, 00 00 02 br
02 br
00 ( i have to write an example here, but it isn't easy to find ) 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 00 Secondly, we need to know how to spend money. 00 If we spend money 02 br
02 br
00 with the plan about how to spend, we will not waste money. ( here, too ) 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 In conclusion, money is such an important part of our lives that we should 02 br
02 br
00 be able to control it. Although there are proverbs and stories in which money 02 br
02 br
00 seems to make human beings corrupted, that is actually not because of money. 02 br
02 br
00 This is because the way to control it is wrong. If we use it properly, money can 02 br
02 br
00 give us not only richness but also happiness. We need wisdom for money. 01 h2
02 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
01 h202 h2
00 = THANK YOU FOR READING 02 br0510name [문서의 처음]
Top answer
0 Wisdom for Money 02 br 02 br 00 For a long time, people have had 01 font 00 the 02 font 00 tendency to believe that money is the 00 02 br 02 br 00 root of all evil. Even those who 01 font 00 are 02 font 00 rich and 01 font 00 famous don't l 02 font 00 ike to talk 00 02 br 02 br 00 about money. 01 font 00 Perhaps 02 font 00 this is because in the Bible, 01 font 00 to be rich 02 font 00 is 00 02 br 02 br 00 considered evil.
- 0 Wisdom for Money 02 br 02 br 00 For a long time, people have had 01 font 00 the 02 font 00 tendency to believe that money is the 00 02 br 02 br 00 root of all evil.
- Even those who 01 font 00 are 02 font 00 rich and 01 font 00 famous don't l 02 font 00 ike to talk 00 02 br 02 br 00 about money.
- 01 font 00 Perhaps 02 font 00 this is because in the Bible, 01 font 00 to be rich 02 font 00 is 00 02 br 02 br 00 considered evil.
- " However, can 00 02 br 02 br 00 we do anything without money, these days?
- " 00 02 br 02 br 01 font 00 Maybe it is because 02 font 00 money is essential to us.
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2 Answers
0
0 Wisdom for Money 02 br
02 br
00 For a long time, people have had 01 font 00 the 02 font 00 tendency to believe that money is the 00 02 br
02 br
00 root of all evil. Even those who 01 font 00 are 02 font 00 rich and 01 font 00 f
02 br
00 For a long time, people have had 01 font 00 the 02 font 00 tendency to believe that money is the 00 02 br
02 br
00 root of all evil. Even those who 01 font 00 are 02 font 00 rich and 01 font 00 f
00
0 thank you so much 02 br
02 br
00 you gave me good advice. 02 br
02 br
00 i'm feeling i must study harder.. 0-
02 br
00 you gave me good advice. 02 br
02 br
00 i'm feeling i must study harder.. 0-
0
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