It's incorrect - for sure - but I can't find the mistakes!

Question

Differently from the Parliamentary system - maybe not so evident in this ongoing coalition, where the power, especially the one of policy-making had transferred from the cabinet to the Prime-Minister- , the local government has been suffering from a disease originated by the separate governing bodies (Council and the Executive). Therefore, this arrangement unleashed a problematic externality of restraining the capabilities in governing the cities. Is it a correct form to put down a basic difference in the decision making process between both levels of power?

Thanks, cheers, merci, obrigada, gracias, djankuya!!!

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

Some of the language in this is vague and unnatural.
eg what is 'a problematic externality'? I don't know.

Overall, I find the the meaning is unclear.

Here's what I suggest. Try to rewrite it using sentences that are as short and as simple as you can make them. Don't worry too much if some of the subtle meanings get lost. Once you have a clear basis, you can add to it and make it sound even better.

If you wnat to try that and repost, I'd be happy to look at it agian.

Clive

It's incorrect - for sure - but I can't find the mistakes!

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