It's gonna tank like a German U-boat

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Zorro II.Just like Elizabethtown, that Cameron Crowe flick with Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. At least you can't blame the writing on that one, seeing as how Crowe is an Oscar-winning screenwriter.And why did all these other movies sink like lead-lined coffins?Domino, with Kiera KnightlyInto the Blue, with Jessica AlbaOliver TwistTwo for the Money, Al PacinoIn Her Shoes, Cameron DiazThe Greatest Game Ever PlayedProof, Gwyneth PaltrowLois

Usenet · Accepted Answer

Hollywood has forgotten the audience is always right and these movies look terrible. It's unbelieveble how bad the movies have been this year. I've gone to the theater about one-tenth of the times I have gone in previous years and there are only 3 good shows on TV IMHO. I bet Zorro does reasonably well with Saw 2 coming in at #1.

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So go see KISS KISS BANG BANG.
- Bill (TWO FOR THE MONEY is already at the $ theater!)

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Zorro II.[/nq]
The last one was surprisingly good. With a little luck ...
[nq:1]Just like Elizabethtown, that Cameron Crowe flick with Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. At least you can't blame the writing on that one, seeing as how Crowe is an Oscar-winning screenwriter.[/nq]
Actually, I think you CAN blame the writer, since by all accounts this is a very flabbily-written piece.
[nq:1]And why did all these other movies sink like lead-lined coffins? Domino, with Kiera Knightly[/nq]
Given how they marketed this one, I don't think they expected much more from it. I have no idea what the production budget was, though. Tony Scott doesn't usually do "cheap" but he might have this time.
[nq:1]Into the Blue, with Jessica Alba[/nq]
I think this falls into the "expected failure" category. Every so often a movie like this breaks out and makes a ton of money. This one didn't. But some other movie of equal quality will break the bank and they'll call it even.
[nq:1]Oliver Twist[/nq]
Because it's just not very good? Has it been released wide yet, even?
[nq:1]Two for the Money, Al Pacino[/nq]
Might be quietly profitable when the DVD results are in.
[nq:1]In Her Shoes, Cameron Diaz[/nq]
I'm not under the impression that this one lost money. $27mil domestic has got to be in line with expectations, even if it's clearly not a runaway hit.
[nq:1]The Greatest Game Ever Played[/nq]
Given the cast, and my guesses for the budget, this one could well have made money. This wasn't an expensive movie and it's done $14mil at home.
[nq:1]Proof, Gwyneth Paltrow[/nq]
Something like this could get a bump if it picks up a few nominations.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Zorro II.[/nq]
Nope. Fun, anticipated, the stars have been good on the talk shows, it'll do fine.
[nq:1]Just like Elizabethtown, that Cameron Crowe flick with Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. At least you can't blame the writing on that one, seeing as how Crowe is an Oscar-winning screenwriter.[/nq]
Oh yes you can blame the writing. Show me the new story, Cameron.
[nq:1]And why did all these other movies sink like lead-lined coffins? Domino, with Kiera Knightly[/nq]
Anti-heroine, who cares.
[nq:1]Into the Blue, with Jessica Alba[/nq]
Drowned there already, terrible advertising.
[nq:1]Oliver Twist[/nq]
Polanski has a bad rep with kids, particularly if they're female.
[nq:1]Two for the Money, Al Pacino[/nq]
Who cares? You're a little old for this, Al.
[nq:1]In Her Shoes, Cameron Diaz[/nq]
Chick flick but even worse, the only one who looked at all sane in the trailers was Toni Collette, and she looked odd. A whole lot of people saw Cameron Diaz say on Oprah that if Bush got re-elected rape would be legal. I watch Oprah and Drew Barrymore's mouths drop to their ******* in reaction. A lot of women branded Cameron "cra-zee" that day, and it hurts her box office.
[nq:1]The Greatest Game Ever Played[/nq]
Very low profile ad campaign. Very bad cross-campaigning with pro golf. Hardly anyone outside of golf knew the story.
[nq:1]Proof, Gwyneth Paltrow[/nq]
Too eggheadish and there is a LARGE segment of the American public that thinks Gwyeth is a snobbish, spoiled, anti-American *** who lives in England and prefers that. Whether you agree with that or not..

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Zorro II.[/nq]
Frankly, I think Zorro II is going to be quite successful, especially compared to what other movies this season are doing. Apart from the kid, who seems annoying even within the realm of kid actors who always tend to be annoying, it looks like it captures much of what worked about the original.
[nq:1]Just like Elizabethtown, that Cameron Crowe flick with Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. At least you can't blame the writing on that one, seeing as how Crowe is an Oscar-winning screenwriter.[/nq]
So if not the writing, then what? The directing. Oh, wait. That's him too.
I just think that the movie, at least as it was sold, came across as totally generic a movie that was simply "about" the fact that you had Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst and it was a love story of some sort.
I strongly suspect that, at the time the movie was greenlit that that was the basis on which it was sold: Kirten Dunst + Orlando Bloom + generic love story = hit.
But you actually need something more than that. You need a movie that's about something even a love story, even a romance has to be about something.
And honestly, having watched the trailer, I have no clue what this movie is about.
[nq:1]And why did all these other movies sink like lead-lined coffins? Domino, with Kiera Knightly[/nq]
Back when this was just an article, I was one of the writers who was asked to pitch on it, and my reaction to the material was that she was sort of an interesting character rich privileged daughter of a movie star becomes a thrill-seeking heroin-using bounty hunter her life was full of stuff, but where was the movie, where was the story what was the story about?
I couldn't find it, which was why I ultimately never pitched on it. And I think, ultimately, you ended up with a movie that was full of stuff, full of incidents and clever characters, but where was the story? What was it about? What was really at stake?
Without somebody who really needed something and the movie was about that person trying to get it, where you really understand what's at stake it's hard for a story to connect with a large audience.
[nq:1]Into the Blue, with Jessica Alba[/nq]
The way Elizabethtown was a totally generic love story, this came across as a totally generic action adventure. Even the trailers were boring. Even Jessica Alba didn't come across as particularly exciting or **** no exciting action set pieces (at least none that they opted to put in the trailer) no nothing.
So they're pretty people on a boat, so they find a treasure, so some bad guys try to take it away from them is that it? Haven't we seen this already? When they did it in "The Deep" you had killer eels and sharks and the ship balanced on the edge of a crevasse and Robert Shaw playing Robert Shaw and Jackie Bisset looking **** in her see-through wet tee-shirt.
Clearly, it ain't high art, but it's well-made escapist entertainment full of the stuff that you want to see when you go to see a movie like that.
You watch the trailer for "Into the Blue" it doesn't have that stuff.
[nq:1]Oliver Twist[/nq]
Apart from Ben Kingsley who is not, fundamentally, a star in the sense of being able to pull people into a theatre it's a cast of unknowns, a fairly dark story. As a kid's film, it wasn't destined to sell because it's not in any sense "fun" (as, for instance, Oliver! was fun, because of the songs and dances) and if it's not working as a kid's film, it's not going to work as a family film, because family films only work when the kids want to go to see it. If it's not appealing to kids or families certainly it's not appealing to a teen audience. It's certainly not a date movie.
So who the **** wanted to see it?
[nq:1]Two for the Money, Al Pacino[/nq]
Every time the trailer for this thing came on, my wife would ask me what the **** is this movie about?
So it's sort of about a guy who can pick winners who falls under the thumb of a professional gambler and - and what? His soul is at stake because, somehow it's wrong to misuse his winner-picking skills?

Again what's at stake for this guy, and why should we care?
[nq:1]In Her Shoes, Cameron Diaz[/nq]
I think this probably performed about up to expectations. Nobody thought it was going to set the world on fire. I expect it made about what they thought it would make.
[nq:1]The Greatest Game Ever Played[/nq]
Has any golf movie, with the exception of Happy Gilmore, actually made any money? Does anybody care about golf? Is this a major spectator sport where people are, like, dying to see golf movies?

Why the *** cares about golf? It's only a competitive sport in the vaguest sense of the word. You could actually have the players show up play their games on separate days. There's no interaction between them. With a race, at least, you've got competitors actively struggling to beat one another, to pull ahead of another.
If you're a golfer a big fan of golf, all I can tell you is - your sport is boring. Golf is a *** bore and nobody wants to see any more movies about *** golf.
[nq:1]Proof, Gwyneth Paltrow[/nq]
Clearly, this was a small movie, an indie production nobody thought that it was going to set the world on fire. I doubt that it performed much better or worse than anybody expected it to.
NMS

Usenet · Answer

[nq:2]The Greatest Game Ever Played[/nq]
[nq:1]Has any golf movie, with the exception of Happy Gilmore, actually made any money? Does anybody care about golf? Is this a major spectator sport where people are, like, dying to see golf movies?[/nq]
Tincup
Caddyshack
Legend of Bagger Vance
Improve Your Putting With Zen Mind Control, Volume 6
[nq:1]Why the *** cares about golf? It's only a competitive sport in the vaguest sense of the word. You could ... sport is boring. Golf is a *** bore and nobody wants to see any more movies about *** golf.[/nq]
Well, that's the point of the game, y'see. It's subtle. And somebody had better want to see a golf movie because I'm dying to rewrite mine and see it in production (I posted about this one earlier; I had a near-sale on it a couple years ago from somebody who wanted it reworked with Michael Keaton in mind.)
My agent a big sports fan thinks there's always a market for some sort of golf film because so many actors like to golf, so it's an excuse to get out and do it. It's definitely not a writer's thing, is it? I haven't actually hit a golf ball in anger since I was 12.
Alan Brooks

A with an Underwood
Improving my lie.
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[nq:2]If you're a golfer a big fan of golf, ... nobody wants to see any more movies about *** golf.[/nq]
[nq:1]Well, that's the point of the game, y'see. It's subtle.[/nq]
Not always!
http://www.elifesize.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Product Code=221&Screen=P ROD

Anybody can direct, but there are only eleven good writers. - Mel Brooks

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Alan Brooks wrote on 10/28/2005 :
[nq:1]Well, that's the point of the game, y'see. It's subtle. And somebody had better want to see a golf movie ... definitely not a writer's thing, is it? I haven't actually hit a golf ball in anger since I was 12.[/nq]
Maybe someone needs to write a high-concept script like "Die Hard on a Golf Course" and cast Will Smith who actually knows how to golf.

Jeri Jo & Little Garcia Bear

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"nmstevens" <> Has any golf movie, with the exception of Happy Gilmore, actually made
[nq:1]any money? Does anybody care about golf? Is this a major spectator sport where people are, like, dying to see ... sport is boring. Golf is a *** bore and nobody wants to see any more movies about *** golf.[/nq]
**** right! Does anyone remember the days before Cable TV when Golf was always on one channel all day every *** Sunday and/or Saturday??? Golf is for rich snobby ********, even if a couple of black guys are winning now (Singh & Woods).
I wish that Gold would be changed into a Survivor Sport, with one member of the paying audience at each hole who got to take one shot at each golfer. Give them a regular Italian rifle like the one used to shoot JFK. Nothing fancy. Most of the time, they would miss. But it would make things a lot more interesting. Like NASCAR. People would watch to see the accidents.

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[nq:1]Zorro II. Just like Elizabethtown, that Cameron Crowe flick with Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst. At least you can't blame the writing on that one, seeing as how Crowe is an Oscar-winning screenwriter.[/nq]
Bloom fans (Hobbit nerds) dont get laid. Dunst Fans (Spidey fans) dont get laid. Their fan base doesnt want Jerry McGuire, they want nerd things.
[nq:1]And why did all these other movies sink like lead-lined coffins? Domino, with Kiera Knightly[/nq]
Bad title. Kiera is still "who was that girl in Pirates?" The story is nothing different than Dateline, Primtime, Nightline, A&E, Court TV, Gretta...
[nq:1]Into the Blue, with Jessica Alba[/nq]
Internet killed the Hollywood star. Nobody needs to pay box office to see hot *** anymore.
[nq:1]Oliver Twist[/nq]
Waif Chic went out 10 years ago.
[nq:1]Two for the Money, Al Pacino[/nq]
Mathew Mconaffleck.
[nq:1]In Her Shoes, Cameron Diaz[/nq]
Mom, they made a movie for you!
[nq:1]The Greatest Game Ever Played[/nq]
The 1983 Miami vs Nebraska National Championship game is #1 on most lists. 2nd is the 2003 Fixedesta Bowl when Ohio State stole the National Title from Miami.
[nq:1]Proof, Gwyneth Paltrow[/nq]
Like Ohio States fake national title, Paltrow has a fake Oscar. She comes across as really arrogant and I think most people see her as an Evil-Princess-Di. If Hopkins aint biting people we dont care.

Oranse

It's gonna tank like a German U-boat

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