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Creativeguru Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Its a TV ad script for Energy Drink... Kindly check it!!

It starts with a Scene of a gym, everyone busy in exercise. Close up of a man, very well build, on an bench, doing chest exercise, with the help of trainers/instructors he is struggling to lift 120 KG(60 KG on each side of the rod), as he completes one set of exercise, he stops to take rest. The camera pan towards a man, very skinny man, has a bottle of an energy drink in one hand, heading towards the bench. He comes and request the body builder, who is still sitting on the bench, can I do one set? The builder replies, sure man! The builder gets up and the other man open the energy drink bottle and gulp it, then he changes the weight plates on the rod from 120KG to 180KG (80 Kg on each side of the rod). Now he occupies the bench, the instructors standing aside, asked the man do you need the Support? But by the time man starts lifting the weight, and he does very comfortably. The builder, the trainers / instructions standing aside was surprised by watching this. The man gets up from the bench and says thanks man to a builder , now its all your! And he hands over the energy drink bottle to the builder and goes away. At the end Camera close ups to the energy drink and comes the punch line. The real energy, you really need!
  

Top answer

This whole thing would work a lot better without words until the end. Big strong guy, struggling with the weights. Maybe the trainer is encouraging him, counting.

  • This whole thing would work a lot better without words until the end.
  • Big strong guy, struggling with the weights.
  • Maybe the trainer is encouraging him, counting.
  • " He changes the weights, he drinks his drink, he does his set easily.
  • He gets up, hands the bottle to the guys and then says "It's all yours" and winks at him.
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5 Answers
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This whole thing would work a lot better without words until the end.

Big strong guy, struggling with the weights. Maybe the trainer is encouraging him, counting.

Skinny guy asks wordlessly (with a gesture) to use the equipment, or maybe just says "May I?"

He changes the weights, he drinks his drink, he does his set easily.

He gets up, hands the bottle to the
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The TV commercial from the 70's: Every body needs milk.
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Thanks a lot Grammat Geek for your kind help...I will definitely follow your suggestion..apart from it...is this grammatically ok?
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If the guy increases the weight to 180Kg, then it's 90Kg on each side of the rod!
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Hi,

That sounds OK.

Clive

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