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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
It will be analyzed whether...
Dear all,
This sentence construction is driving me crazy. I am doing some editing work and keep coming across sentences such as the following:
In the next section, it will be analyzed whether the changes made to the second and third versions actually contribute to the comprehensibility of the text, or if they only served to worsen its comprehensibilty.
For some reason, "It will be analyzed whether" sounds clunky to me, though I actually assume it is correct (due in part to the thousands of results a google search renders). A confirmation of my stupidity would be great (though I admit I'm still holding out hope that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this construction
).
Thank you!
This sentence construction is driving me crazy. I am doing some editing work and keep coming across sentences such as the following:
In the next section, it will be analyzed whether the changes made to the second and third versions actually contribute to the comprehensibility of the text, or if they only served to worsen its comprehensibilty.
For some reason, "It will be analyzed whether" sounds clunky to me, though I actually assume it is correct (due in part to the thousands of results a google search renders). A confirmation of my stupidity would be great (though I admit I'm still holding out hope that I'm not the only one who has a problem with this construction
).Thank you!
Top answer
The grammar is OK, but the style is awful ('clunky' is a kind word for it), and it should be recast. Unfortunately a lot of writers in the sciences feel it is their duty to write in passive voice, so this egregiousness is perpetuated. The sentence would benefit from further revision also: The next section will analyze whether the changes made to the second and third versions actually contribute to the comprehensibility of the text or only worsen it.
- The grammar is OK, but the style is awful ('clunky' is a kind word for it), and it should be recast.
- Unfortunately a lot of writers in the sciences feel it is their duty to write in passive voice, so this egregiousness is perpetuated.
- The sentence would benefit from further revision also: The next section will analyze whether the changes made to the second and third versions actually contribute to the comprehensibility of the text or only worsen it.
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2 Answers
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The grammar is OK, but the style is awful ('clunky' is a kind word for it), and it should be recast. Unfortunately a lot of writers in the sciences feel it is their duty to write in passive voice, so this egregiousness is perpetuated. The sentence would benefit from further revision also:
The next section will analyze whether the changes made to the second and third versions a
The next section will analyze whether the changes made to the second and third versions a
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