IS THIS WRITING TASK 1 IELTS GOOD WRITTEN? And if it is. what is the approximate band for this

Question

The diagrams illustrate the set for a wave-energy mechanism and its placement.
Overall,the process of receiving energy depends on the size of waves, which contact with airflow inside the machine
Firstly, airflow goes through a grid, following that it propels a pair of turbines. Consequently, airflow appears in the second chamber after the first one. There a stream of water raises and the air is redirected back to the first chamber. The reverse process of charging an electricity generator occurs since turbines are rotated again.
Furthermore, the position of this construction has an influence on electricity output. If it is instaled farther away from the coast, the strength of the water flow would be stronger, therefore much energy would be gained. however, the cost of adjustment would increase as a distance from the coast would grow

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

witty file 28 IS THIS WRITING TASK 1 IELTS well ~~GOOD~~ WRITTEN? And if it is. what is the approximate band for this

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AlpheccaStars · Answer

The diagrams illustrate the set (wrong word - apparatus, machinery, installation, equipment) for a wave-energy generator ~~mechanism~~ and its placement.
Overall,the process of receiving (wrong word) energy depends on the size of waves, which contact (??) with airflow inside the machine (missing punctuation. Also poor paragraphing.)
~~Firstly~~, The airflow first goes through a grid, (wrong punctuation) following that it propels a pair of turbines. Consequently, airflow appears in the second chamber after the first one. There a stream of water raises and the air is redirected back to the first chamber. The reverse process of charging (??) an electricity generator occurs since turbines are rotated again.
Furthermore, the position of this machinery / device / equipment ~~construction~~ has an influence on electricity output. If it is instaled farther away from the coast, the strength of the water flow would be stronger, therefore much energy would be gained. however, the cost of adjustment (wrong word) would increase as a distance from the coast would grow (missing punctuation. wrong word choice)

Suggested essay:

The two diagrams illustrate the inner workings of a wave energy generator, and the effects of its placement on the seafloor.

The device consists of two interconnected chambers; one is situated just below the level of the waves, and the other is in the air above the waves. The wave action causes the water level in the lower chamber to go up and down. This compresses the air and causes air to flow to and from the upper chamber. The up-down reciprocating force of the air flow turns the propellers of a turbine, the shaft of which is connected to a generator. This produces electricity.

The options for placing the apparatus in the sea is simply a function of the distance from the shore. There are advantages and disadvantages to consider. The further out the location, the deeper the water is, and the larger the base of the device must be. This necessitates a higher cost of material, construction and installation. However, the tradeoff is that the further out the location, the stronger the wave action, and the higher the output of electricity. So the tradeoff is the initial cost versus the amount of electricity produced over its lifetime.

IS THIS WRITING TASK 1 IELTS GOOD WRITTEN? And if it is. what is the approximate band for this

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