Is this writing good English.

Question

I would appreciate it if you could help me to find proper structure and words for my essay.

"By reducing the pressure of the reaction chamber to 0.2 torr, the deposition rate at the center of the wafers reduces to about 25 Å/min (figure 12). So it can be said that the amount of silane in the spaces between wafers reduces. That can be explained by the pump outlet that is positioned near the other end of tube.
In the next simulation, the pressure of the reaction chamber is increased to 0.4 torr. The deposition rates in the center of the wafers are shown in figure 13. In this case, the deposition rate is about 49 Å/min. It can be concluded that by increasing the pressure, which can be achieved with either increasing the flow of the injected gas or tighten the outlet valve, the density of the gas will increase. Consequently, it is expected that the number of the reactions will increase."

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

I'll suggest some edits, but it is not easy because of the technical nature of your subject. That's why you don't have a lot of replies.

If it is any consolation, people do not expect perfect writing from scientists, broadly speaking.

I would appreciate it if you could help me to find proper structure and words for my essay.

"By reducing the pressure of the reaction chamber to 0.2 torr, the deposition rate at the center of the wafers can be reduced to about 25 Å/min (figure 12). So it can be said that <<< do you need to say this phrase ? the amount of silane in the spaces between wafers is reduced..How do you want to write this whole article?
eg The amount was reduced
eg The amount is reduced
eg The amount can be reduced
Whatever you choose, try to be consistent in your other sentences.
I won't edit that aspect any more.

That can be explained by the pump outlet that is positioned near the other end of the tube.
In the next simulation, the pressure of the reaction chamber is increased to 0.4 torr. The deposition rates in the center of the wafers are shown in figure 13. In this case, the deposition rate is about 49 Å/min. It can be concluded that by increasing the pressure, which can be achieved by either increasing the flow of the injected gas or tightening the outlet valve, the density of the gas will increase. Consequently, it is expected that the number of the <<< don't say 'the' reactions will increase."

Clive

USF · Answer

Thank you Clive.

eg The amount was reduced
eg The amount is reduced
eg The amount can be reduced
Whatever you choose, try to be consistent in your other sentences.

I would choose the second one. Is there any difference between the first and the second?

So it can be said that <<< do you need to say this phrase ?

I wanted to make a conclusion.

the number of the <<< don't say 'the'

Could you please explain why? (I have difficulties with "the", but I am getting better by your kindness. You meant I shouldn't use "the" for "number" at all! Anywhere?)

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I would choose the second one. Is there any difference between the first and the second?
The amount was reduced sounds like you are describing an experiment that you actually did.
The amount is reduced sounds like you are describing what happens any time someone does this experiment.

So it can be said that <<< do you need to say this phrase ?

I wanted to make a conclusion.
So it can be said that A is reduced sounds weak and uncertain.
A is reduced sounds strong.

the number of the <<< don't say 'the'

Could you please explain why? (I have difficulties with "the", but I am getting better by your kindness. You meant I shouldn't use "the" for "number" at all! Anywhere?) Not in a context like that. I hesitate to say 'anywhere'.

Consider.
The number of students in the class increased yesterday.

Clive

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