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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is this worded correctly, particularly the beginning part?

While all of that was occurring, the ambassador from the neighboring drow city of Ched Nasad, Faeryl Zauvirr, was being refused the right to leave the city by Triel Baenre, the Matron Mother of the First House.
  

Top answer

While all of that was occurring , Triel Baenre, the Matron Mother of the First House, was refusing Faeryl Zauvirr, the ambassador from the neighboring drow city of Ched Nasad, the right to leave the city.

  • While all of that was occurring , Triel Baenre, the Matron Mother of the First House, was refusing Faeryl Zauvirr, the ambassador from the neighboring drow city of Ched Nasad, the right to leave the city.
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1 Answers
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While all of that was occurring, Triel Baenre, the Matron Mother of the First House, was refusing Faeryl Zauvirr, the ambassador from the neighboring drow city of Ched Nasad, the right to leave the city.

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