0
Cboutin3 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Is this the best way to word and structure this sentence?

Shortly after Drizzt was miraculously reunited with his reborn companions (the former dwarf king Bruenor Battlehammer, the halfling fighter Regis, the barbarian warrior Wulfgar, and the drow ranger’s wife Catti-brie, a Chosen of Mielikki and a proficient wizard) on Kelvin’s Cairn in Icewind Dale, they discussed how war between the Silver Marches and the orc kingdom of Many-Arrows seemed inevitable.
  

Top answer

I think this works for the reader who is familiar with the situation. However, you have included quite a bit in the parentheses that makes it a bit hard to follow. You might consider starting with a different sentence: Drizzt was miraculously reunited with.....

  • I think this works for the reader who is familiar with the situation.
  • However, you have included quite a bit in the parentheses that makes it a bit hard to follow.
  • You might consider starting with a different sentence: Drizzt was miraculously reunited with.....
  • on Kelvin's Cairn in Icewind Dale.
  • Then, they discussed...
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

1 Answers
0
I think this works for the reader who is familiar with the situation. However, you have included quite a bit in the parentheses that makes it a bit hard to follow. You might consider starting with a different sentence: Drizzt was miraculously reunited with..... on Kelvin's Cairn in Icewind Dale. Then, they discussed...
Your choice.

Related Questions