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Crespo Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

Is this statement correct?

Please correct this statement.

"I would now like to further my studies to the Master's Degree level as this will enable me achieve my career goals in life. I am particularly interested in Information Technology as this is the area I believe I can make the greatest contributions, utilizing my theoretical background and creativity."

I look forward to your reply.
Thanks.
  

Top answer

I have underlined problem areas and stricken out inappropriate words. "I would now like to further my studies to the Master's Degree level as this will enable me achieve my career goals in life . " .

— Mister Micawber

  • I have underlined problem areas and stricken out inappropriate words.
  • "I would now like to further my studies to the Master's Degree level as this will enable me achieve my career goals in life .
  • " .
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1 Answers
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I have underlined problem areas and stricken out inappropriate words.

"I would now like to further my studies to the Master's Degree level as this will enable me achieve my career goals in life. I am particularly interested in Information Technology as this is the area I believe I can make the greatest contributions, utili
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