Is this small passage worded and structured correctly?

After escaping from Ylraphon, Dorn and his fellow hunters agreed to accompany Kara in traveling by ship to Lyrabar as her bodyguards. During the journey through the waters of the Dragon Reach, the group observed evidence, in the form of ravaged villages, of dragon flights raiding along the eastern shore. Several days later, the ship was intercepted by two silver dragons serving in the Talons of Justice (a martial fellowship of silvers banded together to combat evil), Azhaq and Moonwing, whose mission was to apprehend Kara.