is this small passage worded and structured correctly?

Ariakas's forces quickly took control of the northern nation, and he then directed the Blue Wing to capture the island of Schallsea and the New Sea region. Although the dragonarmies suffered the loss of Highlord Kartilann of the Blue Wing during the campaign, Ariakas promoted Highmaster Kitiara Uth Matar to the role of Dragon Highlord after she proved herself worthy by commanding the Dark Queen’s forces and securing the New Sea region following the loss of Kartilann.