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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Is this short paragraph okay?

Is this paragraph ok? I mean mainly for grammar but in general. I think I am more concerned for the last sentence below. Note the people who are being addressed are aware of the comparisons between the departments, so I do not feel the need to explain them. Let me know. Thank you!

Coming from a department that does similar work to yours, I have a good understanding of both the position and the planning department operations. During our interview, I became excited by the possibility of contributing to the many challenges facing Charlotte, whether it's affordable housing or planning for climate change. For the Key West Islands, which also faces a higher probability of flooding and storm damage due to rising sea levels, I worked on updating a general management plan to address these contingencies, as well as other comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte.
  

Top answer

Anonymous I worked on updating a general management plan to address these contingencies, as well as other comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte. You are saying that you worked on updating a management plan to address (X... as well as) the comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte.

  • Anonymous I worked on updating a general management plan to address these contingencies, as well as other comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte.
  • You are saying that you worked on updating a management plan to address (X...
  • as well as) the comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte.
  • "Comparisons" does not really work here.
  • Perhaps you meant that the plan had to address (or reconcile) the differences between the plans for the two different departments.
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4 Answers
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AnonymousI worked on updating a general management plan to address these contingencies, as well as other comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte.
You are saying that you worked on updating a management plan to address (X... as well as) the comparisons between the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte.

"Com
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All I am trying to say is I have worked on a general management plan that is similar to the work they are doing, as well as my current department being similar to theirs. How can I say this in the paragraph?
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Coming from a department that does similar work to yours, I have a good understanding of the planning department operations and the position itself. During our interview, I was excited by the possibility of helping Charlotte out, whether it's in affordable housing or planning for climate change. I have already worked on similar projects in the planning department at Pretoria and Charlotte. I updat
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Does this work?

For the Key West Islands, which also faces a higher probability of flooding and storm damage due to rising sea levels, I worked on updating a general management plan to address these contingencies, as well as performing many of the same responsibilities at the Charlotte Planning Department

So:

Coming from a department that does similar work to yours, I h

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