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Rommel Posted 10 years ago
Grammar

Is this sentence using 'making final revisions on' and 'those' (shorter term for 'those stories') correct?

Is this sentence using 'making final revisions on' and 'those' (shorter term for 'those stories') correct?

After making final revisions on their stories, Kenjie and Kurt could have those (stories) written on scrolls.
  

Top answer

I wouldn't say that is wrong, but more natural to me is eg After making final revisions to their stories, Kenjie and Kurt could have them (stories) written on scrolls.

— Clive

  • I wouldn't say that is wrong, but more natural to me is eg After making final revisions to their stories, Kenjie and Kurt could have them (stories) written on scrolls.
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3 Answers
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I wouldn't say that is wrong, but more natural to me is
eg After making final revisions to their stories, Kenjie and Kurt could have them (stories) written on scrolls.
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Clive, would it be acceptable, too, if I rewrote the sentence as follows?

After making (the) final revisions, Kenjie and Kurt could have their stories written on scrolls.
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