Is this sentence grammatically correct?

Question

Please be informed that the above staff member's debit card has been expired, but he has not yet received a new card, so please look into this matter and advise how to most expeditiously resolve this matter at the earliest

Deadrat · Accepted Answer

Yes.

Do you mean "John's debit card has expired and the expected replacement has failed to arrive. Please help me get the replacement card for him as soon as possible."?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes
Thank you for your kind help. so I can write as below.

Please note that one of our staff members, Mr. Cyril's debit card has expired, but he has not yet received a new card, so please look into this matter and advise how to most expeditiously resolve this matter as soon as possible

Fivejedjon · Answer

Anonymous: so I can write as below .Please note that one of our staff members, Mr. Cyril's debit card has expired, but he has not yet received a new card, so please look into this matter and advise how to most expeditiously resolve this matter as soon as possible

You'd do better to use deadrat's model:

"The debit card of J S Cyril, a member of our staff, has expired and the expected replacement has failed to arrive. Please help me get the replacement card for him as soon as possible."

Deadrat · Answer

Let me explain the deadrat model a bit. In business correspondence, the politest thing you an do is take care not to waste your correspondent's time. This means being both clear and concise, and one way to do that is to think of every word that you send as a 10 pound weight that you will strap to your recipient's back. That's about 4.5 kilograms per word for the metrically inclined. Ask yourself the following questions:

Your email will inform the recipient of the issue. Do you need to tell him to please be informed?
Do you need to identify the card holder as a staff member? Would you ask about a debit card that wasn't issued by the corporation?
Do you have to ask the recipient to look into the matter? Would it even be possible for anyone to fix the problem without looking into it?
What's the difference between acting "most expeditiously" and "at the earliest moment"? Do you need both?

I hasten to add that the deadrat model is made in America, a country known for both its informality and its rudeness. Other cultures differ, and it could be that stripping your message of its elaborate syntax will be seen as impolite and thereby offend the recipient. You will have to be the judge.

Is this sentence grammatically correct?

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