Is this right grammatically?

Question

Is this short writing correct? My friend told me this.

There is a lazy rabbit. It does want to go and hunt for food. He just tells lies to animals to get some goodies from them that way. They think he is a sorry case. They come to a scary crocodile. But, no one comes back. The scary crocodile devoured them all.

Milky · Accepted Answer

Believer
Is this short writing correct? My friend told me this.

Try this:

There is a lazy rabbit. It doesn't want to go and hunt for food. It tells lies to animals to get some goodies from them. They think he is a sorry case. They come to a scary crocodile, but no one comes back. The scary crocodile devours them all.

Likeguslee · Answer

There is this lazy rabbit. It does not want to go out and hunt for food. It just tells lies to other animals to get some goodies from them. They think it is a sorry case. They run into a scary crocodile, and none comes back. The scary crocodile devours them all.

Believer · Answer

Thank you, Milky and Likeguslee,

My first question is that is it normal to lay out (tell) the whole short story in present tenses? I think it is.

My second question is that is the following sentence right?

They come to a scary crocodile.

BarbaraPA · Answer

First, pick whether the rabbit is an "it" or a "he." If he tells lies, he has been made more human-like, so I would suggest "he." But don't use "it" for some and "he" for others.

Yes, it is common to tell the narrative of a story in the present tense.

They come across a scray crocodile means they encountered one. They come to implies that he was their destination. If you use come to for a place, it could also mean a chance encounter - Eventually, they come to a shallow spot in the river and are able to cross - but it's different with a "person" (os, in this case, an animal).

Is this right grammatically?

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