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Chrismlangan Posted 19 years ago
Grammar

Is this punctuation right?

After talking with the guys, Agent Ryan walks in and discovers Laoriz lying on the couch, watching TV, eating a sandwich.
  

Top answer

Hello Chris, That style of punctuation might seem slightly mannered in (for example) a business letter or an academic text; but in your context (presumably "tv/film plot summaries"), it seems quite appropriate. The more usual (but perhaps less "immediate") phrasing would be: 1. and discovers Laoriz lying on the couch, watching TV and eating a sandwich.

— MrPedantic

  • Hello Chris, That style of punctuation might seem slightly mannered in (for example) a business letter or an academic text; but in your context (presumably "tv/film plot summaries"), it seems quite appropriate.
  • The more usual (but perhaps less "immediate") phrasing would be: 1.
  • and discovers Laoriz lying on the couch, watching TV and eating a sandwich.
  • Best wishes, MrP
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2 Answers
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Hello Chris,

That style of punctuation might seem slightly mannered in (for example) a business letter or an academic text; but in your context (presumably "tv/film plot summaries"), it seems quite appropriate.

The more usual (but perhaps less "immediate") phrasing would be:

1. ...and discovers Laoriz lying on the couch, watching TV and eating a sandwich.

Best
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ChrismlanganAfter talking with the guys, Agent Ryan walks in and discovers Laoriz lying on the couch, watching TV, eating a sandwich.
It's fine.
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