Is this passage worded in the correct way?

FYI- Nymia is the governor. Nymia’s other companies also achieved victory, and upon learning that the undead had assaulted the sizeable town of Thazrumaros and overrun the eastern half of it, the governor hastily reunited her army to attack the creatures. Although many Thayan warriors were slain in the battle, they ultimately prevailed and defeated the force of undead. Since Milsantos and his troops had also been successful, the countryside of Pyarados was now cleansed of the undead. In the hope of destroying the undead remaining in eastern Thay, Nymia and Milsantos decided to join their forces, swiftly advance up the Pass of Thazar, and retake the Keep of Thazar.