Is this passage properly structured and worded?

FYI- Yder is one of the Shadovar, Joelle and Malik are some of Kleef's comrades, Kleef is the watchman, and Joelle is the goddess Sune's Chosen. For the next several weeks, Kleef and his three comrades traveled with the caravan, which was continually followed and raided by the orcs. A few times, the Shadovar took advantage of the incursions to try to gain the Eye, but each time they were driven off. Throughout that time, Yder used his magic to repeatedly visit Kleef’s dreams in an attempt to coerce him to steal the Eye, but the watchman refused to betray his companions and also came to the realization that he might be a Chosen of Helm. Also during that time, Joelle and Malik discussed how in order for Sune’s magic to bind Grumbar to Toril, the goddess’s Chosen had to deliver the Eye to the earth primordial’s temple and then perform a ritual in which someone who was so completely in love with and devoted to another person that he or she would willingly sacrifice them self.