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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is this passage all worded correctly?

Tol was thrilled to learn that he would be returning to Daltigoth after a decade away since now he would finally be able to confront the traitorous Mandes and discover why he had received no word from his beloved Valaran for the last ten years. While the Army of the North would remain at Tarsis under Regobart’s command, Tol and a small escort would travel light and fast to the capital. Tol chose five to accompany him on the journey: Kiya, Miya, Frez, Darpo, and Felryn. Tol wanted his party to arrive in Daltigoth as quickly as possible, so he decided to lead them across the Harrow Sky Mountains west of the Bay of Tarsis, then across the hill country to the Gulf of Ergoth, where they would hire a ship to take them to the capital.
  

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Tol was thrilled to learn that he would be returning to Daltigoth after a decade, since now he would be able to confront the traitorous Mandes and discover why he had received no word from his beloved Valaran. While the Army of the North remained at Tarsis under Regobart’s command, Tol and a small escort travelled light and fast to the capital. Tol chose five companions for the journey: Kiya, Miya, Frez, Darpo, and Felryn.

  • Tol was thrilled to learn that he would be returning to Daltigoth after a decade, since now he would be able to confront the traitorous Mandes and discover why he had received no word from his beloved Valaran.
  • While the Army of the North remained at Tarsis under Regobart’s command, Tol and a small escort travelled light and fast to the capital.
  • Tol chose five companions for the journey: Kiya, Miya, Frez, Darpo, and Felryn.
  • Tol wanted to arrive in Daltigoth as soon as possible, so he decided to lead them across the Harrow Sky Mountains west of the Bay of Tarsis, and then across the hill country to the Gulf of Ergoth, where they could hire a ship to take them to the capital.
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Tol was thrilled to learn that he would be returning to Daltigoth after a decade, since now he would be able to confront the traitorous Mandes and discover why he had received no word from his beloved Valaran. While the Army of the North remained at Tarsis under Regobart’s command, Tol and a small escort travelled light and fast to the capital. Tol chose five companions for the journey: Kiya, M

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