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Dice Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Is this paragraph correct?

One day Goldilocks decided to go in the woods. On her way she decided to get into our house. Goldilocks found our bowls of porridge on the kitchen table. She tasted our porridge but she liked my porridge best and so she ate it all up. Then she found three chairs and she sat on all of them. When she sat on my chair, it broke. After she felt tired and so she went into our bedroom. She tried our beds and found my bed just right. She slept soundly in my bed. After some time, we came back to eat our porridge. Soon we notice that someone had tasted our porridge and sat on our chairs too. Then my parents went into our bedroom and I heard them shouting that someone had slept in their beds. When I went into my bedroom, I found Goldilocks sleeping in my bed. Then Goldilocks woke up afraid.

  

Top answer

You need to tell the reader who you are in the beginning. What is your relation with Goldilocks? Your story is not consistent.

  • You need to tell the reader who you are in the beginning.
  • What is your relation with Goldilocks?
  • Your story is not consistent.
  • One day Goldilocks decided to go into the woods.
  • Better: One day Goldilocks decided to go for a walk in the woods where my family has a small cabin .
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1 Answers
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You need to tell the reader who you are in the beginning. What is your relation with Goldilocks?

Your story is not consistent.


One day Goldilocks decided to go into the woods.

Better: One day Goldilocks decided to go for a walk in the woods where my fa

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