Beth comes running in, goes to the bookcase, grabs the book she's looking for, and is about to leave the room, when she catches sight of something outside. She steps closer to the window and sees a car with its lights turned off approaching the house.
Is this okay? Would you leave out any of the commas? Or maybe split it up into three sentences instead of two?
anonymous Is this okay? Yes. anonymous Would you leave out any of the commas?
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anonymousIs this okay?
Yes.
anonymousWould you leave out any of the commas?
The one after "room".