Is this grammatically perfect?
Hi. Is this grammatically perfect? Any other comments? Thanks.
Men's clothes are being thrown across the room. So is a briefcase, sending papers swirling. A laptop is smashed against a wall — Katy has found out about Rick's cheating, and she's MAD.
Top answer
anonymous Is this grammatically perfect? Seems OK. anonymous Any other comments?
- anonymous Is this grammatically perfect?
- Seems OK.
- anonymous Any other comments?
- The passive is puzzling, and you switch from progressive, which seems unjustified in the first place, to simple for no apparent reason.
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anonymousIs this grammatically perfect?
Seems OK.
anonymousAny other comments?
The passive is puzzling, and you switch from progressive, which seems unjustified in the first place, to simple for no apparent reason.
0anonymousother comments?
"Katy has found out ..." is related to the whole passage, not just to the laptop incident. So the dash seems to make for "bad music". I'd make a cleaner break and start a new paragraph.
- - -. - - -. - - - against a wall.
Katy has found out ....
CJ
0
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