Is this sentence free from errors? Is the underlined part natural enough?
On a crowded train, I found someoe standing on my feet. So I said to him, “Hey, you are hurting my foot” To my annoyance, he averted his eyes pretending not to hear what I said.
The underlined part is natural. The discrepancy between "standing on my feet " and "hurting my foot " is noticeable. I would say that usually in this kind of situation a person stands on just one of your feet.
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The underlined part is natural. The discrepancy between "standing on my feet" and "hurting my foot" is noticeable. I would say that usually in this kind of situation a person stands on just one of your feet. It seems harder for someone to be standing on both.
You have a typo, a missing full stop and a missing comma.