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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is this correctly worded?

The ring was poisoned so that when someone would wear it, they would die within a matter of seconds. Mina knew of this deception, and took a potion to fake her own death in order to expose her secret enemy. After Mina put the ring on and "died", Targonne was summoned to Silvanesti to attend her funeral, where the prophet rose from the supposed dead and revealed that he was the one who had arranged for her to be poisoned.
  

Top answer

) they would die within a matter of seconds. ) in order to expose her secret enemy. ) and revealed that he was the one who had arranged for her to be poisoned.

— AlpheccaStars

  • ) they would die within a matter of seconds.
  • ) in order to expose her secret enemy.
  • ) and revealed that he was the one who had arranged for her to be poisoned.
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4 Answers
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The ring was poisoned so that if when someone wore would wear it, (given the "seconds to death," you probably should say "put it on." "Wearing" implies a decent period of time.) they would die within a matter of seconds. Mina knew of this deception, and took a potion to fake her own death ( Is the potion counteracting the effect of the ring?) in or
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Thanks for your help. Sorry I didn't clarify at the beginning, Mina is the prophet.
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cboutin3Thanks for your help. Sorry I didn't clarify at the beginning, Mina is the prophet.
But then you refer to Mina as "he".
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Oh wow I didn't realize that, the "he" refers to Targonne so should use his name?
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