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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is this correctly worded?

Soon after, the forces of the renegade mage Galan Dracos attacked the citadel, and Huma and Kaz escaped while Magius fought to hold off the enemy. However, Huma and Kaz were forced to flee in separate directions since they were being pursued by the Black Guard and dreadwolves.
  

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Soon after, the forces of the renegade mage Galan Dracos attacked the citadel, and Huma and Kaz escaped while Magius fought off the enemy. However, Huma and Kaz were forced to flee in separate d irections, pursued by the Black Guard and dreadwolves.

  • Soon after, the forces of the renegade mage Galan Dracos attacked the citadel, and Huma and Kaz escaped while Magius fought off the enemy.
  • However, Huma and Kaz were forced to flee in separate d irections, pursued by the Black Guard and dreadwolves.
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Soon after, the forces of the renegade mage Galan Dracos attacked the citadel, and Huma and Kaz escaped while Magius fought off the enemy. However, Huma and Kaz were forced to flee in separate directions, pursued by the Black Guard and dreadwolves.

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