Is this correct?
Is this correct?
As Finn comes out of his office he sees light coming from an office at the end of the dark hall. He heads to it. The door is half open. Inside, a man is talking on the phone. Finn listens as the man talks.
Top answer
anonymous Is this correct? Yes, but it needs a comma after the first "office". There are problems of a different kind, though.
- anonymous Is this correct?
- Yes, but it needs a comma after the first "office".
- There are problems of a different kind, though.
- You tell us too late that the hall is dark.
- If this is not stage directions, the position of the door is given too much weight.
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anonymousIs this correct?
Yes, but it needs a comma after the first "office". There are problems of a different kind, though.
You tell us too late that the hall is dark. If this is not stage directions, the position of the door is given too much weight. If you do not immediately go on to tell us what the man is saying, "as the man talks" is redundant.
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