0
Rommel Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Is this composition on bullying well-written?

A friend of mine who is much younger than I has written this short essay on bullying. Is it well-written? (I've noticed that the words 'bullying' and 'bullies' are redundant in her work, but I guess that if these words are omitted the meaning of the text would be unclear.)

Bullying: Think for Yourself

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat to aggressively dominate others. It occurs in schools and other places. It intends to hurt other persons physically, mentally, or emotionally. It can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and loneliness, which may weaken one’s relationship with others.

Bullies are said to be the ‘psychologically strongest,’ having a ‘high social standing’ among their peers or friends, while the victims or the bullied are said to be ‘emotionally weak’ or ‘socially marginalized.’

Were bullies bullied before? Why do they bully other people? Because of envy or jealousy? To feel empowered? To boost self-esteem? Whatever the reason, bullying still affects other people’s lives.

Bullying may result in long-term behavioral and emotional problems on the victims’ part. Loneliness, low self-esteem, and depression experienced by the victims could lead to suicide.

You yourself can prevent bullying by being smart, open-minded, and aware of what’s happening around you. These little ways of protecting yourself may have huge effects on you as a person. You have to maintain a good and positive outlook towards building harmonious relationships with others. Anti-bullying campaigns in schools need to be intensified so as to raise student awareness about the effects of bullying.

Think for yourself. Does bullying make you a better human being? Does it make you a person?
  

Top answer

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat s to aggressively dominate others. It occurs in schools and other places. It intends to hurt s other persons physically, mentally, and/ or emotionally.

  • Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threat s to aggressively dominate others.
  • It occurs in schools and other places.
  • It intends to hurt s other persons physically, mentally, and/ or emotionally.
  • It can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and loneliness for the victims , which may weaken one’s their relationship s with others.
  • ’ Were bullies (themselves) bullied before?
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

2 Answers
0
Bullying is the use of force, coercion, or threats to aggressively dominate others. It occurs in schools and other places. It intends to hurts other persons physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. It can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and loneliness for the victims, which may weaken one’s their relationships with others.
0
Thank you very much, teechr. How I wish there would be more teachers like you! I'll remember your kindness forever.Emotion: smile

Related Questions