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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is this completely correct?

During the Blood War, agents of the heavenly races had even placed powerful weapons and artifacts among the ranks of the demons or the devils, indicating that even the beings of the Upper Planes did not want the war to end.
  

Top answer

During the Blood War, agents of the heavenly races had even placed powerful weapons and artifacts among the ranks of the demons or devils: even the beings of the Upper Planes did not want the war to end.

  • During the Blood War, agents of the heavenly races had even placed powerful weapons and artifacts among the ranks of the demons or devils: even the beings of the Upper Planes did not want the war to end.
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3 Answers
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During the Blood War, agents of the heavenly races had even placed powerful weapons and artifacts among the ranks of the demons or devils: even the beings of the Upper Planes did not want the war to end.
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Thanks, would this option work and should I include "act"?

During the Blood War, agents of the heavenly races had even placed powerful weapons and artifacts among the ranks of the demons or devils. This (act) indicated that even the beings of the Upper Planes did not want the war to end.


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cboutin3 would this option work and should I include "act"?
It is not a felicitous revision. Use the colon version for a change. Your readers will find your unvarying style extremely soporific.

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