IS THIS BETTER I NEED YOUR ADVICE PLz

0HERE WITH I SEND MY MOTIVATION LETTER (SECOND EDITION). WOULD YOU LIKE HELP ME TO READ IT AND GIVE ME A COMENT?02br
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00MOTIVATION STATEMENT02br
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00Dear Madam/Sir,02br
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00My name is Rusmana. With this letter I would like to introduce my candidature as a staff of Ministry of Marine Affairs and Fisheries (MMAF) Republic of Indonesia, who is applying for the LLM Program at the University of Erasmus. 02br
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00Since I was still in Senior High School I had had in ideal to become an international law expert, especially in the field of the law of the sea. In my spare time I often spent my time reading books about international law and law of the sea which I borrowed from the school library. What I dreamed about finally came true when I was accepted at the Faculty of Law of the University of Padjadjaran, Bandung, Indonesia. I took up the Department of International Law and was graduated in 2000. During my study, I took several subjects related to the international law such as diplomatic and consular law, international treaty law, international organization law, the law of regional organization, air and space law, international settlement of dispute law, international law of the sea. I was also active attending institutional research, seminar and workshop regarding issue of international law both organized by the faculty or other institutions. 02br
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00Currently I have been working with the Legal and Organization Bureau of MMAF. For three (3) years I have been working in such organization, I was really enjoying the field of my work. I got a chance to apply my knowledge and skill, which I learned during my study. As a staff I also obtained a great deal of experiences in assisting setting up legal rules, analyzing cases, rendering legal consultation, drawing up national ocean policy, establishing international cooperation, and developing both national and international law of the sea. Nevertheless, as an individual I am fully aware that the challenge ahead is keeping on the increase, so that everyone is demanded to keep on studying, developing itself, and searching new experiences. Those are the things that outlay my confidence and motivation to continue my education abroad. 02br
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00My choice to take up the program of public international law is based on the considerations that such program is the most relevant to the field of my work, which is largely related to the aspects of international law. Based on the experience in my work, the issues in the field of law of the sea is as if Indonesia is limited in its involvement in both regional and international fisheries organizations, a great number of international conventions which have not been ratified or even fully implemented in the national law system, unsettled country border in the sea with some neighboring countries, constitute part of the issues that need expertise and experience in the adequate international field of law. 02br
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00In this case I am highly aware of the superb reputation of your school, and my conversation with several of your alumni have served to deepen my interest in attending your school. I am confident that, in addition to your excellent faculty, the ability of professional teachers, and the support of facilities and very adequate literature in international law have placed your institution as a most promising choice to me to deepen such issue. Moreover, I do have come to recognize that a deep and solid education provided by your programme is required for me to pursue my career in international law area and to have a critical understanding of the problems that my country is facing and their solutions. 02br
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00I firmly believe that I will be able to implement my knowledge and experiences that I acquired as long as I study in Eramus University to support and give contributions to bureau and ministry in order to develop legal issues, regulations policies, and international cooperation. I am certain that I have a great career in the field of international law, and let us say five to ten years afterwards, I will certainly have more strategic role and responsibilities as a decision maker in formulating law and policy of Indonesian marine and fishery development. 02br
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00I sincerely hope that from my above-mentioned motivation expression, I will be accepted as an applicant and a beneficiary of the University of Erasmus to study the Public International Law Program in the 2006 – 2007 academic years. I am looking forward to having a feedback or response from you. 02br
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00Sincerely yours, 02br
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00Rusmana0-