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Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Vocabulary

Is this an impolite / incorrect short email?

Question: Is this short email below impolite or incorrect?

Context:
Person Name met me in person to ask for a meeting time (sometime today or after tomorrow) with my colleague & I during which he wanted a free time slot to make his presentation to us. We were busy and not sure when at the time so he told me "to send him an email with our agreed time as we seem to be busy right now".

Please find the email in question sent to him below.


"Dear Name,


Hope you are doing well. Is 1:00pm tomorrow (29 Feb) a suitable time slot for you to present to us your mobile application and project? As tomorrow we are a little busy with some people who are interviewing with us.



If that doesn't work then please let us know and we can schedule something else



Thanks,
Name"

Goal: the goal of this email is supposed to be something polite and short in a formal setting informing him the free time (1:00 pm) and to let him know that we don't mind if he picks something else as he is an important person in a business setting. We do not want to come as imposing or giving importance to ourself.

Questions: is it impolite to say for instance "suitable time slot for you to present to us"?, does it give importance to "us" instead of him? if you were on the receiving end of this email in a business setting would you be upset to see this short email as being impolite or even rude or not acceptable? is the tone of the email condescending or aggressive or making me superior instead of addressing the goal (and being a short quick polite thank email as he asked).

or is it just me overthinking that and being nit picky? that this email is not suitable or impolite in a business setting?

Thank you greatly for your response, hopefully I can get some input from everyone who has used english at a high level or has experience with it in a business/formal setting.
  

Top answer

Anonymous Hope you are doing well. That is really not relevant. It's better to open with something related to the purpose.

  • Anonymous Hope you are doing well.
  • That is really not relevant.
  • It's better to open with something related to the purpose.
  • Like this: Thanks for stopping by yesterday and asking for some time to present to us your ideas for an interesting new mobile application.
  • Anonymous Is 1:00pm tomorrow (29 Feb) a suitable time slot for you to present to us your mobile application and project?
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2 Answers
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AnonymousHope you are doing well.
That is really not relevant.

It's better to open with something related to the purpose. Like this:

Thanks for stopping by yesterday and asking for some time to present to us your ideas for an interesting new mobile application.
AnonymousIs 1:00pm tomorrow (29 Feb) a suitable time slo
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thanks Alphecca for the answer and helpful suggestions. i will incorporate them from now on.

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