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Cboutin3 Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Is this all worded correctly?

Tol revealed to Enkian that there was no Pakin plot and that his son was dead at Tol’s own hands. After hearing the story of how Pelladrom died, Enkian put no blame on Tol, but decided to journey to Daltigoth and discover who had corrupted his son. Enkian immediately ordered the Seascapes army to return home, and Tol departed the encampment with Kiya. Following Tol’s departure, Enkian was found slain in his tent, but the assassin escaped capture. The individual behind the assassination was Enkian’s own priest, Jarabee, who had been hired by Nazramin to murder the warden. The prince was the one who had orchestrated the lie that had brought the Seascapes hordes to the capital, and he had also hired Jarabee to have Enkian’s death be blamed on Tol.
  

Top answer

Tol revealed to Enkian that there was no Pakin plot and that his son was dead at Tol’s own hands. After hearing the story of Pelladrom's demise, Enkian did not blame Tol but decided to go to Daltigoth and discover who had corrupted his son. Enkian ordered the Seascapes army to return home.

  • Tol revealed to Enkian that there was no Pakin plot and that his son was dead at Tol’s own hands.
  • After hearing the story of Pelladrom's demise, Enkian did not blame Tol but decided to go to Daltigoth and discover who had corrupted his son.
  • Enkian ordered the Seascapes army to return home.
  • Tol departed the encampment with Kiya, following which Enkian was found slain in his tent, but the assassin, Enkian’s own priest, Jarabee, hired by Nazramin, escaped.
  • The prince had orchestrated the lie bringing the Seascapes hordes to the capital, and he had also hired Jarabee to blame Enkian’s death on Tol.
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3 Answers
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Tol revealed to Enkian that there was no Pakin plot and that his son was dead at Tol’s own hands. After hearing the story of Pelladrom's demise, Enkian did not blame Tol but decided to go to Daltigoth and discover who had corrupted his son. Enkian ordered the Seascapes army to return home. Tol departed the encampment with Kiya, following which Enkian was found slain in his tent, but the assass
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Thanks for all your help. Would this revision work fot the last sentence? The prince had orchestrated the lie bringing the Seascapes hordes to the capital, and he had also hired Jarabee to arrange Enkian’s death so it would be blamed on Tol.

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